Grieving partner

I know you would. how long ago did God call him? it will take a long time for the hurt to go.

What are you doing today? I am vegitating in front of the tv. Feeling sorry for myself. And crying a lot. This is day 3 after I did something stupid. I need to go outside. Be brave and confront the world head on. Before this becomes the norm… I don’t want to but feel I must. Life is short and I don’t want to waste it.

I will be back a little later. Take care. (((hugs)))

It has been 3 months and i am watching tv do not feel like going out

I don’t think there would be anything I could ever say that can ease the pain you must be in. All I can do is to let you know that I am here if you ever want to chat with someone. I have not gone through what you have, but have the scars of something much the same. I can tell you how I cope, and how I fall, the stupid things I do that make things worse, and the things I do that help. They may not be the same for you. They maybe completely back to front. I have found that it is good to try, to see what works and do those things. To avoid the things that hurt, well until you are strong enough to try. It is your mind, and heart that is broken, you must allow your body to be fit, eat the right things. exercise. I am trying to loose weight, every pound I loose is an achievement, it allows me to concentrate on something that is positive. Sometimes I fail. Saturday I drank until passed out, (put on 2lbs) because I done some awful the day before. Today I went for a walk. something good. I feel better today than I did yesterday. This works for me…you need to find something that works for you…What were your interests before your Husband ( please tell me his name) got sick? Can you do that again? even if for 20 mins. Let me know how you get on, or if you can’t even attempt it. I should be at home tomorrow to chat. I am here for you Sue.

Hi my husband name was Alan and he was 60 i used to sit and read alot i have a few books i did go for a walk with a friend as she has a dog and also had dinner with her but found it hard as she still has her husband and he was there

You must accept that Alan has gone, that none of this is your fault. It may hurt to be with your friend and her husband, because it may remind you of what you have lost. Even although it hurts, keep trying, each time it may get easier. After a while, you can take comfort in their happiness and that will make you feel better. Keep up the walks if you are able they help too. Push yourself just a little everyday. You are allowed days off, and just cry all day. But try to move forward, just a little bit every day. What are your plans today?

I am going to spend the day with my brother he has told me not to sitting around as it will give me to much time to think about what happened to Alan so i am going into town with him a bit later for lunch

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Good, fill your days up. Have a great day out. I went to church today, where I can talk to Sharon. I apologised for the bad thing I did. It was very difficult. It will be a rough afternoon for me. Tomorrow I plan to go for a long walk along the beach.

Thank you and you have a good day as well

Hi Sue, I have been getting help form a therapist. It has really helped and things are starting to fall into place. If you are not seeing one, contact your doctor and get them to arrange one for you. They really do help. Mine told me that rather than tring to leave Sharon by the side of the road and walk forward alone to take her with me,like an adventure together. That had not occured to me and it helped so much. Some time the advice is so simple and you just cant see it… like an elephant in the room… I am so much better now that I am able to meet a lady for dinner tomorrow… I will always be there fir you if you need me and always at the other end of the phone if things get dark for you. Your friend Philip.

Your road is not going to be easy, but you are NOT alone.

Thank you i will talk to my doctor about it and thank you for all your support

Make sure you do, it is really helpful. a little scary to do, because you have to tell them things you may not be comfortable with. You have told me stuff, if you can tell me then you can tell a shrink. It really is worth it. Phone someone today and ask for help. Go on you can do this. go for it!

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I will do and thank you again

I am not always on email, and the Sue Ryder Secret Police have told me off for giving out my phone number. which is understandable these days. I will try and get back to you as quickly as I can…take care your friend Philip.

Thank you hope you have a really nice day take care

Hi sue, hope this message finds you well. It’s all a struggle, and you must miss Alan so much… Remember I am here for you.

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Had a few bad days it was Alans birthday on the 8th Jan and then my Mums on the 8th Feb its hard as i lost both of them to cancer my Mum on the 8th Oct 2019 and then Alan on the 20th Oct last year . Hope you are doing ok

Remember I’m only at the end of an email if you are Felling down and need to chat.

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