My partner recently lost a family member to pancreatic cancer. She battled for 5 years. He was close to her as in he loved her dearly and she helped raise him, but not close as an adult. Since I met him, I have been closer to her. But her death has hit us all hard even though we knew it was coming.
He’s an introverted person. Not one to discuss his emotions. I’ve tried reaching out and talking to him and have made him aware that it’s ok to be sad. I’ve given him space. I’ve let undesirable behaviour slide.
But I feel that this is something that we should be going through together but I feel he is pushing me away and it’s driving a wedge.
Should I give him his space or should I back off while reminding him that I am here if he needs me.
I don’t want to be just the person who waits on him until this blows over, I want us to get through this as a team but he is hell bent on shrinking in to his shell.
Any advice would be appreciated
Big Beans welcome to the site I’ve only been here a day but have had some really kind words.
So sorry to hear of your partners loss.
My first husband who died when he was 41 was emotionally numb he wouldn’t talk about feelings or anything just like your partner. He lost his brother when he was only 24 and he never talked about it he never cried or showed any kind of emotion. I was like you wanting to help him and not knowing how to. He just kept it all in, it’s SO hard to feel you are supporting when they don’t let you in.
Just be there physically for him maybe that’s all I could do for my husband.
And maybe you could tell him you are there for him if and when he wants to open up about his loss.
I’m trying start grieving for my mum she died 13 years ago 4 years after a horrible accident that I feel I caused my father blamed me totally . I’ve had so much sudden loss in my life and it’s all taken its toll I’m struggling with everything now and have been for years.
I hope you can find a way to support your loved one bless you xxx
Thank you for the support. I have only joined today myself.
Sounds like our partners are cut from the same cloth!
I’m so sorry to hear that you haven’t been able to process the loss that you suffered so long ago. Maybe because you were too busy looking after other people. We should both maybe take a step back and concentrate on our own healing. I wish you all the best xx
Thank you big beans I think you are right we need to heal as much as anyone.
Take care and keep talking on here for help you are not alone xx