I googled "what’s the difference between grieving & self pity? "
First article I read was written by Georgina Shaffer but
there are several articles on this subject which I found interesting.
Worth looking into I think.
Take care
G. X
3 Likes
I’ve read the Shaffer one. Excellent summary which points the way forward out of the swamp, thankyou. I’ll read some more about it tomorrow.
The truth might hurt, but its the truth nevertheless.
2 Likes
Opinion please,. Tykey,
There is a post “may help people”
Did you see it?
I replied that while I reluctantly accept Ian isn’t coming back - is this when self pity creeps in?
Kath.
Well I am not sure I agree that grief is self pity. Isn’t self pity when you have brought something on yourself. Maybe I’m wrong. But grief out of losing someone in your life is out of our control.
3 Likes
I’d class self pity as that state when we do nothing to improve our new “lot” in life. Grief is the journey we all need to take to sort out our new life.
I’ve taken a good while to reply, because I’ve been continuing to rebuild my life. I’m not sure if I will ever complete this task, but I’ve come a huge distance in 6 months. My life is worth having again, it’ll never be as good as it was, but it’s well worth having.
3 Likes
Self-pity and grief can overlap, especially after the shock and numbness of loss wears off
Grieving is about protesting the pain, feeling all the emotions, and slowly working through your anger, sadness, guilt, shame or frustration. It takes time to recognize, name and own your feelings
This is what I read on a Google post.
My own personal experience of grief doesn’t feel like self pity.
I find myself in this pain of grief through no fault of my own and if I am feeling self pity it’s not like I asked for it. If anything it hit me like a brick from above. So unless you have been through actual pain of grief you can’t say it’s self pity.
Grief is also a state of horrific torture that no one should have to face but it’s a fact of life we’re all going to lose a loved one there’s no way of dressing it up. One day in anyone’s life someone somewhere on this planet will experience grief
I went through life never imagining I would lose my mum until one day it happened and I am facing it with every ounce of my strength and it takes everything I’ve got to endure it. I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling it’s certainly not self pity but if I was to describe it then it’s feeling of an actual broken heart huge hole in my life.
If I can help anyone to deal with it then I’m here for you.
Merry Christmas to all
3 Likes
The problem is we are all looking for answers and explainations for how we feel and doctor google isn’t always the answer. Grief is real it hurts and we all need to find our own way through it without having labels putting on us that gives others who we come in contact an excuse for not treating us with empathy by letting themselves off the hook telling themselves it’s not grief but self pity… We will all experiance grief in our lifetimes and will learn that we walk alongside it for the rest of our lives ,that’s how will survive.
3 Likes
Trouble with grief is I personally found the more I let it control the more consumed I become. I now focus on positive things. Grief is all consuming
It is all consuming at time but we have free will and choice. I have always been a cup half full person but losing my husband 17 years ago and my partner 13 months ago it has been hard picking myself up this time around but having ssid that I have gone out and started to build a life for myself my grief still hurts but do not think poor me .I have a home ,enough income to live on and a family who care for me soI’m the lucky one
1 Like
I have started to try and pick myself up. I am enjoying life bit more now
2 Likes