I’m at a stage in my life where I feel invisible but being a stepparent of a lost adult child brings a whole new invisibility.
In the last year only 2 people have asked me how I am doing, all the rest have told me to look after my partner, which I do.
I feel I am expected to be the one with the least needs and am here just to support others and accept the rest of the family’s needs and actions.
This is a lonely place.
Hello Bouncer, so very sorry for your loss, I cant understand people not realizing that you are also grieving. .the loss of a child, even an adult one, can be quite devastating. I have 2 adult children, i can’t even imagine losing them.,I lost my husband in March, losing my husband has been the worst thing ive ever been through… my deepest condolences to you and your family, please take care, may God strengthen and comfort you always 
Thank you for your kind words.
Sorry for your loss. I hope you are finding ways through it.