I just wondered if there is anyone here who is in a similar situation as myself? Growing up it was always me and my Mom, we were mother and daughter but also best friends. When my Mom was 39, and I was 22 she was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. She had surgery, chemo and radio but after a short fight of around 9 months she suddenly died in hospital. I’m a nurse (she never got to see me graduate which was her wish) and I have suddenly (4 years later) been hit with grief. I’m off work with stress at the moment, and feel stress has made this hit me hard. Is there anyone out there that can understand what I’m feeling right now? I have a wonderful fiancé and have a good family and friends but find it difficult to talk as they don’t know what I’m going through. I thought it was worth a try xx
So sorry to hear of your pain at the loss of your Mum. It’s good that you have found this forum, just like I did. I have a similar situation so I can share some of your anger. It was just My Mum, my eldest Sister and myself when we were growing up. My Mum saw me get married but sadly passed away just 8 weeks later from peritoneal mesothelioma. I have since had a wonderful daughter who is now 20 months old and we are now living in our new family home. I look at my daughter playing with my wife’s Mum and Dad and it crushes me inside. I know there is nothing I can do so I just talk about my Mum all of the time. But coming on here has made me realise that there are people who do understand. New jobs are difficult anyway. You need to take time off to look after yourself. Please talk to your fiance. They won’t have the answers but you need to talk. Please keep coming on here and update us. Thinking of you.
I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time at the moment & yes I do absolutely understand what you’re going through. My Mum was my best friend, I’d talk to her about anything & everything and we’d go travelling together. When she died 4 years ago the carpet was well & truly pulled from under me.
I was married at the time & my husband thought that he could take the place of my Mum. No-one can & 4 years on I still miss her. I go to call her when I have news I want to share. The pain of losing her has gotten less with time but not the sense of loss I feel.
I had bereavement counselling about 6 months after Mum died which helped tremendously. I could say anything I wanted & just cried for a couple of sessions. There are organisations, such as Cruise, that provide telephone support or group sessions which might be worth thinking about.
Family & friends do want to help and understand but unless you’ve lost a parent they can’t know what you’re going through. I still have anxiety attacks occassionally. I went to the doctor & she asked me what was I scared about - I couldn’t tell her I just felt scared.
Please be kind to yourself, grief is a funny thing and the journey is different for everyone.
Your Mum would be very proud of you graduating & becoming a nurse.
You aren’t alone, there are losts of lovely people on the forum who will understand what you’re going through.
Keep posting. Trudy x