Grieving twice

Hi, I’m just wondering if there is anyone else in my position? My partner died 6 weeks ago and had suffered for the past 3 years with dementia. I feel like I am grieving twice really now, the first due to the dementia and it’s devastating effects and now this quite sudden death (not dementia related). Just wondered if anyone can relate?


I’m so sorry for your suffering. Nothing prepares us for bereavement it what ever form it comes in. I would say it’s a natural process that you feel like you are grieving twice.
To experience the change in your husband you grief, but I’m sure you would have wanted him to still be with you so you could care for him in what ever capacity so to lose him finally is another step to far. I may be talking rubbish as it’s not something I have experienced,
I had a very good friend Clare who supported me 100 % when I lost my husband, 6 weeks later she too passed away having suffered a massive stroke. 47 years old and so suddenly. Some times I wonder if we are being tested …… only the strong survive and all that rubbish!! I really don’t want to be strong

Take care

Hi Cce, I understand exactly how you are feeling. I have a friend who also feels she has lost her soulmate twice. For some unknown reason people think because you know something is going to happen we should be prepared for it but bereavement is not like that. Your heart ache is what we all on this site feel and our thoughts and love are with you. Please feel free to post anytime and reading others post can help over the difficult times to come. Take extra care because at present you are very vulnerable both physical and mentally. S xxx

Thanks for your messages, I do read a lot of the posts on this site and identify with many of you. At the moment just keeping going takes all my strength. I don’t really know if I’m coming or going half the time and I feel very unsettled. I do know that I am better on my own at the moment without any company. I have my 2 dogs who are the light in this darkness. I keep going for them. Currently going through probate and will be glad when this is finalised. Love to all on the same path as myself x

Hi, I’m sorry for your loss. My grandad died on Sunday from dementia and my father passed in March from covid. Its really hit me hard. I tried to block out my dad’s passing and now my grandad passed I’m really struggling. By reaching out I’m feeling a little better, nervous scared and I hope this helps you too.

Hi Phil, I am so sorry for your losses. At times it must be so overwhelming to be grieving for two people. I hope that this sites brings you some comfort as it has me. Just knowing I am not alone in my suffering has helped a little. Take care x

1 Like

I was,a volunteer for Age,concern and spent a lot of time completing various benefit applications for people living with dementia, and other mental health issues

many of their families mentioned to me a about them grieving for the person, their loved one used to be I. because,although they were physically alive, they weren’t in mind
I wrote poems from both sides
Lost love a,carers story, and dementia , the,sufferers story . These,were from several years of personal experience and research. My post being to hopefully give you some peace in the knowledge, that what you are feeling is part of a process