14 weeks ago my beloved passed away after a 4 months of horrific cancer that was all through him and incredibly aggressive. He adored me and I adored him. Our first thoughts when he was diagnosed was to get married. He was 40. His parents had not met me before the diagnosis. We had been together 2 years, most of which was when I was me recovering from cancer myself. We were blindsided by his diagnosis. He told his parents and everybody else that he needed me to be involved with everything, caring for him, staying at the hospital and when he moved into his family home for the weeks between and after the weeks long hospital stays. His parents are NPCs who could not talk about things beyond the weather and who fought him on everything he wanted. The obstructed him and tried to keep me away from him. He had never fought them in his life but he fought them for me. They excluded me completely from his wake, from all announcements, from extended acknowledgements. Once he was gone they pretended I didn’t exist. I cannot put words to the pain of that. He told me he would just die if I left him and I was fully committed to him, so I put up with the parents hostile behaviour for the months, even though they treated me with thinly veiled disdain, behaved awfully towards me and hurt him desperately to the point of sobbing with his head in his hands in the last weeks of his life when his mother tried yet again to stop me being near him. His protection of me is a balm for my broken heart but I am still so hurt that the parents have excluded me.
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Hi MossMcK, I am sorry to hear your suffering. It always amazes me how families can cause such pain in the worse moments. What have they gained from treating you both like that. You are the one who takes the most precious part of him. His love.
I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands what you are going through as we have all been devastated by the death of our loved ones.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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