Grieving

My partner, Elizabeth, died November 11th 2023. We had been together for 35 years and I can’t stop grieving and I miss her so much. It is the most awful experience to endure.

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So sorry @Paw ; yes, it’s the worst. But everyone on here has been through it and we are all here for you.

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Thank you catrin 1 for your reply and comforting comments. It is much appreciated. It is nice to communicate with people like yourself who know what it is like to lose the love of your life. It is hard explaining what you feel like to those who have not suffered this dreadful experience.

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It truly is awful and I’m so sorry you find yourself here with us.
We all understand so make sure you reach out and post here when you need some extra support. There’s lots of folk here who truly understand and want to support all the community on here.
None of us want to be here but it helps knowing you’re not alone in your pain.
Make sure you look after yourself

Sending strength and hugs xx

Dear Roni 52, thank you for your kind comments and understanding. It certainly is encouraging knowing I can communicate with you and others in the same Community. It is only those that have lost their beloved partners that can only truly understand the devastating impact it has on you.
My heart goes out to all those in this Community who too know the pain that death brings in losing a very loved partner.
I too send you hugs. xx

Its now 4 long months since my beloved husband died. Im still very very sad and miss him so much. I was invited to my sister-in-laws 80th birthday party, i couldn’t go in the end as i would have been going somewhere where id been with my husband in the past and also constantly telling people what happened etc. My sister-in-law said she thought meeting people would “do me good” and life goes on for the family" it really hurt me because my life basically stopped when Alan died. We were together 24/7 married 53 years and known each other since 15. I have 3 sons 1 who lives with me to save up a deposit on a house so im not alone, but im lonely without my Alan. My sweet greyhound rosie had to be put to sleep a month ago, i needed something to love and keep me company so we rehomed another sweet doggie, shes helped fill a little hole in my heart.

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I think what your sister in law said about life going on for the family, whilst true was also a very insensitive thing to say to you. We all know that life goes on for everyone around us but not for us, how can it when we have lost the biggest part of it. I don’t think anyone who has not lost a life partner can understand how much every aspect of our lives have changed. My husband died 7 months ago so I’m now alone in what was our home but is now just a house. My sons and other family members visit sometimes and I see some friends occasionally but I spend a lot of time on my own. My life isn’t “going on”.

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My heartfelt sympathies to you both. Yes the pain in losing the other half is unbearable. Some family members and friends are unable to fully understand. My Liz died November 11th 2023 after 35 years together. She died unexpectedly from sudden cardiac death. I was totally unprepared for it. Since then my whole life has changed and I don’t feel the same person anymore. I dont socialise much and have become almost a recluse. The impact has been immense and the sole responsibility of running the house and garden and looking after the dog can be overwhelming at times. xx

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It is so hard and people just don’t understand unless you have been through it.
I got an email today with all the last details about my nephews wedding in 2 weeks and I don’t know if I can go anymore. I said I would with my kids but I think being there without him to be by my side will just feel so overwhelming.

And others are just going on with their day to day lives, as it should be, but today I’m finding that so hard to accept and feel so alone. My life also feels like it ended on 12th March.
But I am glad there is this community who really understand and get it so I’ll take that as a positive.
Sending love and strength to all. Xx

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Hi @Shaz10 I’ts so hard to carry on when our loved one has died. People around us carry on with their lives (as it should be) but of course our lives have changed dramatically. So much so, it is hard to find your way again. Like you say the once loved home now has just become a house. I loved my home but it feels so alien now without my husband. I also spend a lot of time on my own and I struggle with this on a daily basis. I hope for better times but it’s not happening yet. Sending love.X

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My dear husband of 37years passed suddenly of an undiagnosed cardiac lymphoma in January. Shock and numbness carried me through the first couple of months but now i am struggling with the reality of facing life without him by myside. I sometimes feel sick with fear for the future on my own. Also at times i no longer know the “real” me - just do not know how i am meant to cope.
Reading other postings here really helps me to realise i am not alone. Here’s sending support, understanding and hope to us all. M.

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I understand completely how you feel. It is such a shock when this happens. 7 months have passed since my partner died and I am still finding it very difficult to cope. My whole life has changed and I am struggling every day. We can only hope that with the passing of time things may get a little better for all of us in this community.

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Yes when you go somewhere where you have always gone with your other half, ie visiting family or friends etc and you end up now going alone it is very difficult for you. My going out has reduced dramatically and I am spending more time by myself at home. All my family and friends however have all been very supportive which I am grateful for and have occasionally visited me, which is good to have someone to talk to. When I am home alone I am tending to talk out loud a lot to my late partner, usually saying how much I miss her etc. It’s almost that I am hoping her spirit is in the house and she can see and hear me. Wè lived in this house since 1994 and without her in it and her companionship it makes you feel very lonely.
Hugs to all xx

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