Hello I sadly joined widowed club as I lost my beautiful wife a week ago 
I’m struggling to cope hour by hour. I’m trying to find this strength that everyone seems to think I can do but I’m crumbling inside. I have 2 daughters aged 23 & 20 who desperately need Dad to stay strong
5 Likes
Hi @Mikey28
I’m so sorry for your loss
It is very early days and I know you will be feeling really raw. I can’t give you any magic words that will make you feel better but please know that in this weird club you’ve now joined, the club no one wants to be a member of, everyone understands your pain because we are all going through it. We are all here to listen
Just try to take it step by step and let your daughters support you too.
Sending you love and hugs x
4 Likes
Good morning @Mikey28
Welcome to the crappiest club in the world, sorry that you have qualified to join.
So sorry for the loss of your wife 
The grief you will feel will be like no other, your thoughts and feelings will be unhinged at times. Nothing in your wildest dreams could prepare you for what you are going through. You are stronger than you believe and will get through this as we all will. It’ll be a struggle every day but you will get through.
Keep reaching out for support, a chat or to release some frustrations. You are in a safe place, everyone is so supportive and will not judge anything you have to say.
Sending you a warm hug 
xx
5 Likes
Three weeks for me. Accept any support offered, a hug, a listening ear, a cup of tea, whatever it is, take it gladly. You will long for human contact in a few weeks and if you reject it now people will think you don’t want the intrusion.
Baby steps for now, just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other and aim to get through the next hour.
Expect it to feel like a roller coaster, if you have a day with not many tears please don’t feel worried if it’s followed by a huge dip.
This is my second time, I lost my first husband 20 years ago. I didn’t expect to lose my second husband of the same catastrophic cardiac arrest.
I had forgotten how devastated I felt then, until it happened to me again.
Be thankful you have your daughters to be strong for and allow them to be strong for you.
I remember considering suicide 20 years ago, not for very long, but it did cross my mind. Then I realised what kind of example that would be for my grown-up children. So I decided to try to battle on through. I am so glad I did. I am 20 years older this time around, but I survived it once and I will do it again, we all will.
I don’t expect or want another partner, I am too old for that. I just want to get to the end of this tunnel, there will be light at the end, even though we may not see it yet.
Much love and strength to everyone. Xx
3 Likes
Such wise words
I’ve woken up this morning feeling like I can’t be arsed for one more minute to feel like this, I’m so sick of the ups and downs, not knowing who I am, crying, and longing. I just want to feel like me again not this person I don’t recognise. I’m sure I sound silly or selfish but I honestly can’t be arsed anymore it’s so draining. I’m hoping this is normal? I am not a heartless person just completely fed up of not knowing how I’ll feel from one hour to the next. I’m hoping it’s a stage in our grief that helps us get back on track and not part of the cycle!
Xx
3 Likes
You are not silly or selfish, you are battered bruised and grieving. Some days you just have to give in to it and wallow or do whatever eases your pain a little bit. I usually try to lose myself in a book which takes my mind off my misery for a little while and sometimes I discover that my brain has reset itself and I can breathe again.
Sending a big hug and would welcome cyber hugs all round. Xx
2 Likes
Thank you everyone 
1 Like
I’m so sorry you have joined our club. It’s not one anyone wants to be a member off, but we all are here to help each other. Take baby steps and cry , shout scream or do nothing whenever you need. I am on week 47 of this journey and each day is a different emotion, I have good days and bad days but each day is another day that I have survived. Keep chstting on here. Xx
1 Like
Sending you a very big hug xx
1 Like
So very sorry.
You must feel confused, battered and like you are in a an alien world.
This group is an excellent support.
Sending a big hug.
Rose
2 Likes
Mikey it’s so hard isn’t it. I found the early couple of weeks I was in a fog of doing things on autopilot.
1 Like