Grieving

Losing a parent
1

I lost my mum to a terminal illness in March 2022. Ever since then my life has turned upside down. My son was 2 at the time. Now I am being evicted from her house. I am married but I am unhappy and since the day my mum died a part of me also died. I feel very lost and alone. Sometimes I feel the people you expect to hear you out don’t understand. I miss my mum so much there is never a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. I have mixed memories both good and bad. Sometimes I feel like life and everything involved gets too much for me.

1 Like
2

Yes bad days are awful and sometimes have to just somehow believe there will be better days sometimes. I lost my mum 3o years ago and my husband not two years ago. My mum wasn’t perfect and we didn’t get on that well. But I do think of her because I am older like she was and now understand how it was for her. When I am washing up I always remember how she used to do it. Rinsing it under the tap with her fingers.
How she put on her make up and tried to do the crosswords. Her struggles and how she tried.

3

Oh gosh yes when you are doing all the normal things you immediately think of how they would do it.
Mine is hanging out the washing she would always do it a particular way .
…

4

To remember how they did things and doing same is like carrying the batten on in a relay. Like saying their life goes on through their descendants which is part of them

5

Hello everyone. I hope you are all well. I now fee like I am going crazy. I am now only coming to terms with my mums death and I am finding it harder daily to cope. Has anyone here ever felt suicidal like everything is too much to deal with. My finances and everything around me feels like I am crumbling.

6

I just feel so sad and empty inside.

7

Hi @hanzafua,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling overwhelmed.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:

https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

  • You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

In terms of finances, you might find these resources helpful:

  • Entitled To benefits calculator can help you see what financial support you may be entitled to.
  • Stepchange provide free debt advice and support.
  • Mental Health and Money Advice provides free advice and support to anyone who is struggling with their mental health and money issues.

You deserve care and support so please, @hanzafua, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,
Seaneen

8

You are not going crazy, you have a different reality now, I am finding it harder six months in, I don’t think there is a time limit. Six minutes six days six months six years . Yes I have felt suicidal, please call the Samaritans if you do reach that level of overwhelm and always remember that that thought will pass.
Have you accessed any counselling ?
I am sorry you are going through this like you say you are only now coming to terms with your mum’s death, not a day goes by that I don’t think of my mum. I have much guilt and regret but I am sure you did all you could for your mum and now you need to be at peace and kind to yourself whilst you process everything.
take care.