Hi my mum passed away on New Years eve ,I have only cried on that day !,I am finding it very hard to get my head around as it was my birthday on New Years day.I can’t focus on anything and don’t really want to leave the houses had a difficult task on Monday as my dad wasn’t upto it !I had to go and register my mums death ,which I thought was going to help but it hasn’t .Today my sister and dad have gone to the funeral directors’ think the hardest part is my mums wishes !she didn’t want a funeral just a private cremation with no one in attendance ,and to me that feels wrong and I will not get a kind of closure .can anyone please help me I feel lost .
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@shelly76 I offer you my sincere condolences on the loss of your mum. There is truly no way to fully describe the hurt you are going through and the pain that you are feeling. I was numb (and still am in a way) for a long while, and when I registered my mum’s death I did it almost robotically, I don’t actually remember any part of doing it.
I lost my mum on Mother’s Day last year. It’s been ten months of pure torture, yet to me it feels just yesterday. I’m not going to lie it was the worse experience of my life, I am still struggling now, she was my bestest friend.
Taking each day as it comes is the best advice I can give, you will have better days and you will have awful days.
Mum’s wishes was for a direct cremation also, (no mourners no service nothing.) and for a while I felt the same as you do now. However, the funeral directors will help you make the direct cremation as personal as you want it. They will also give you a chance for a goodbye. I got my goodbye through it, and it helped me greatly. Try to liaise with them, tell them your concerns. I am sure they will accommodate your feelings and needs the best way they can.
Take care of yourself, and allow yourself to cry and grieve. All my love. 
trying to take each day as it comes just so hard and can’t concentrate on anything at all.im so sorry for the loss of your mum on mothers day I can totally relate to the loss on a special day ,just hope this feeling gets better and thank you again for replying xx
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It’s a lot easier said than done my lovely. I completely agree. Take care. Xx
@shelly76 sending you lots of love. You are not alone in how you are feeling. Grief is such a complex emotion and it’s then fenced in with all the legality and ceremonies.
I have no real answers at this moment as I’m one month on from my own mother passing away.
All I can say, and I am trying to tell this to myself everyday is that I am allowing things to happen as imperfect or as confusing as they seem. I am reminding myself everyday of the love and support that my mother gave me and will continue to give me.
Take a deep breath. Right now you will be feeling in shock. Allow yourself to feel everything you need to.
Start and end each day with you saying out loud exactly what you’d be saying to your mother. I am still saying good morning and night, night.
Go easy with yourself and lean into your family and friends. Your mothers love is always with you
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