Griveving

How do you cope with loneliness when you loose your husband, I’ve got loads of family and good friends but just feel lost

Hi Teddyfun321
I would love to say it will all come good soon but this seems relentless. At first it is a constant. Getting up out of bed seems pointless even eating a chore. Conversations just hear blah blah blah as the thoughts come thick and fast. Moving forward there are moments of normality but its never the same. Theres a hole that remains open and blinks shut sometimes.
I just remain hopefull that one day things will be better even if not the same now

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Teddyfin321, I lost my husband of 42yrs on 26th November. Like you I have lots of loving, caring family and constant offers of help with ‘anything you need’ . Unfortunately none of them can give me what I need most…falling asleep with his arms around me and waking with him next to me.
I am lucky as my granddaughter (31) came immediately to be in my ‘bubble’ for as long as I need her. Her brother (22) came straight from uni and without them I would not have coped… They made sure that I ate but gave me the time on my own that I needed.
I downloaded a book on grieving from Amazon and reading that has helped somewhat.
I hope that you can work your way through your grief and learn to come to terms with it.
Covid has not helped out situation has it. Not being able to visit my husband in hospital for 3 weeks was bad enough but then getting a call suggesting that I come in was worse as I knew what it meant. I was lucky to be holding his hand at the end but I felt like someone had ripped my heart out.
I don’t believe I will ever stop grieving for Danny but I feel that the pain of my grief reflects the strength of my love for him so I am happy to learn to live with it…

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I have been listening to lots of books on grieving and loss - I listen to the book when I go on my muddy walks, when I am doing things around the house. I find them helpful. When I listen to them I cry a lot because what is been said reflects so well how I feel .

I also find I am very lonely - Loneliness can’t be fixed, it won’t disappear - we have to find things that diverts our attention. I find the that walking, swimming, going to the daube help me. I also find that cross stitch is brilliant - I get really involved with it, it keeps me concentrating on something other than my sorrow

I think we just get used to feel lonely -
Sorry I couldn’t have very helpful words or ideas
Take care
Sadie xx

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