Hi everyone, my beautiful mum died just over a year ago and my brother, dad and I are still grieving her loss terribly. My dad has become so unlike himself. He is hurting and I wish there was some way I could help him.
He’s fairly young in his mid 50s and when I spoke to him about getting out and about he says he tried bereavement groups but everyone is older than he is which makes him feel worse and like he is the only one.
I know this can’t be the case, and I wanted to reach out to ask if there are any groups he could join? He thinks it may help him to be able to meet people who have experienced the same kind of grief.
He likes being social/chatting and going for a drink (he loves live music etc) based in Essex. Any help and support would be so so appreciated
Thanks
I am so sorry about your loss. Maybe it would help him if he would join a completely different group because I think most of the bereavement groups might have the same age structure. Maybe a group who has the same hobby or interest as he has? Or he could start learning new skills? Maybe a musical instrument? There are also travel agencies which are offering music theme weekends and if he does not want to go alone maybe you or your brother could join him? Sending love and hugs.
I understand where your dad is coming from. I went to a bereavement group and a walking group I too felt too young as the other people were all older than me I felt so out of place. I hope he finds something that he can do to pas his time over. I’ve tried the bingo but it’s not for me.
@amy4578 there is a bereavement group called Way up, which is only for people who have lost their partners. You join online (need to supply proof you are a widow, to make it safer). It has online chat like this forum but also has local meet ups, holidays, events etc. I live in Scotland so not so many meet ups here. But depending where he lives, some areas are very active. Good luck.
I’ve joined the Jolly Dollies thing but haven’t interacted with anyone yet. Will let people know how it goes. There seem to be a few members of the group who live nearby so perhaps some socialising will become of it, plus they seem to organise holidays for groups of widows.
I am also a member of the Jolly Dollies and have been to a few meals etc. Really nice bunch of ladies. Not any use to @amy4578 dad as it’s a womens group.
Hi I lost my husband in September suddenly in 12 days he was gone and i miss him so much. I am finding it hard to believe its all happened i think sometimes i am living in a nightmare and i will wake up and its not true but i suppose thats just hope. I go out i say bye to him and when i come back i tell him that, is this normal for someone who is grieving
So sorry you find yourself in this club. There are quite a few of us and new people joining all the time.
You are in the very early days. Many of us do many things to survive this nightmare. Nothing you do will be wrong, if you want to talk to him, go ahead.
We all have different circumstances but we all feel the grief.
If you go to the 3 bars to right and go to the losing a partner group there are many things to read. You can also create your own conversation, to make sure your message reaches the right people who are on the same path as you.
I’m 9 months in. This site has been a godsend to be fair and I’ve made many friends here that understand and just get it, because they too are going through it.
I am almost nine months into this nightmare journey now. My Philmore collapsed suddenly on Valentine’s Day and died within three hours. I gave him my card and presents and three hours later I was on my own. I have his urn in our bedroom upstairs and I talk to him and hug and kiss his urn. I also talk to him like I am going now to the shops or I am back etc. It is completely normal and we all grieve differently but we have all something in common: we want our loved ones back and we are all missing them terribly. You are not alone in this forum, which helped me a lot to survive that horrible nightmare. Sending love and hugs.
Thank you all for your kind replies i dont know how im going to get through this and xmas is a no no. I cant find anything to look forward too everything seems so futile at the moment .