Guilt about mums death

I lived with my mum she had disabilities so needed help so i did night shift work to be around more in the day. At the end of 2020 around September my mum started getting sick i should have called an ambulance then or booked a appointment i did not as she did not want to go to hospital, Eventually she caved in as it got worse maybe 2 weeks after it started. She was in hospital for over 2 months and on the 8th of December she passed away from sepsis.
It has destroyed me my mental health got worse i lost my job and i can hardly go out without dealing with panic attacks and part of me feels to blame sepsis is a infection the earlier you catch it the better but i let her convince me not to call an ambulance because i was weak and afraid i believe this may be the real reason she passed away.

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Hello @Ronnie1,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how guilty you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


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Hi Ronnie,
Please dont feel like that bec you did what was the right thing to do at the time. I also felt guilty about phoning 999 and them taking my mum into hosp and then she was told she had a blockage and couldnt operate dur to her age.
I felt for weeks i had caused her death by taking her into hosp and still sometimes the thoughts come back to me but we really must focus on the fact we tried to help them so much
Thinking of you
Deborah x

Ronnie1, you were just trying to protect your mom and if you had known it was sepsis I’m sure you would have got her in earlier but you were in a dilemma. You weren’t weak but loving because you were putting your mom first.