Guilt

Looking to the future
1

Hi, I lost my wife just over 12 months ago after being together for 25 years. At times it wasn’t an easy marriage and the last few years were particularly difficult. But i still loved my wife deeply and miss her every day.
I have now met another lady, we have been going on walks and meeting for coffee/lunch etc. over the past few weeks. She is lovely and understands as much as she can about how I have been feeling with grief. Our relationship is slowly progressing and we are getting closer to each other. My issue is that at times I am consumed with guilt. The guilt of being with another woman, the guilt of what others may think. I have yet to tell my son either.
Also, I would like my new lady to come round my house for dinner but again I feel I am being disrespectful to my wife’s memory.

Any advice?

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2

Stuart, Just try and look at it the other way round. How do you think you would be if you were looking down on her. Would you like her to get on and have a full life after you ? My personal thoughts for me, not you. I was with my wife for 52 years so I am probably older than you. I lost my wife a year ago. I will always love my her and will always miss her. Females seem to think differently to males, I go to the social club with male friends and that is good. If I go out with a female friend it is a totally different experience ( in my case friend, no romance at all ) and I enjoy the difference. I am sure that my darling wife would not want me to stay at home and grieve for her for the rest of my life.

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