I lost my mum last year on September 4th, 2021. I was 15. And I know this is a place for older people but please, please, please, I need advice from people that understand me.
Its been a couple months since I lost her and I haven’t been the same, my depression has gotten much worse, I feel regret and guilt every bloody day and its slowly killing me, I wish I could’ve gone back in time and tell her one last time that I loved her, except I know that’ll happen, I know shes gone and never coming back. Sometimes I wish I was better and more nicer to her, I wish I wasn’t so nasty towards her all the goddamn time.
Even though my mum was very emotionally abusive and most of time emotionally unavailable, I knew some of the things I said sometimes went too far. I still don’t forgive my mum for some of the things she did and I still hate her for putting me through so much during a short period of time but hey she was my mum, I still loved her deep down in my heart.
(I do understand if this gets taken down because of me being young, but please I need advice on copping, because rn I really need it.
I’m so sorry to read about your Mum, your situation and how you are feeling - I’m glad you have received a couple of kind responses from other members this afternoon.
However, because you are under 18, I’m afraid I’m going to have to close this thread, in line with our terms and conditions. I will however follow-up with an email, so please do look out for that. I can see from your profile that you are in New Zealand so I will send you a link to some articles for young people dealing with grief as well as a website which gives details of other support services across the world.
I’m sorry to have to do this but hope you understand - I also hope you are able to find the care and support you need at the moment.
Take care of yourself - please know you are not alone,