This is my first post and I really am unsure why I am trying this because I feel I should be able to help myself as I always do in life.
I lost my mum a month ago, unexpectedly, and leading up to her passing I had not seen her for a few weeks. I have what seems like a million emotions overwhelming me right now but the strongest by far is feeling guilty.
I know I cannot change anything but I worry my mum must have been so disappointed and upset with me. I let her down and now I deserve this pain.


Hello @Maisie51,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you’re feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through. Guilt is a really normal emotion to experience when we’re grieving, and you are not alone.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out.



@Maisie51 grief is a complex experience and struggling to manage conflicting emotions is definitely part of the process. As you say, nothing can change what’s happened so there’s little point in feeling guilty about what you feel you should have said or done. However, we’ve all done it. Be kind to yourself and try to focus on some positive memories. Just because you hadn’t seen your Mum recently doesn’t mean you didn’t love and care about her. Mums know that their grown up children have lives to lead. Take care xx