Hello my dear mum died 3 days ago she’d been admitted to hospital 3 weeks before with pneumonia on top of copd and lung cancer. She was getting better and then rapidly deteriorated on Christmas Eve. I just feel so guilty about everything is this normal?! Thank you for reading x


Hello badger, I’m so sorry for your loss. Guilt, shock, numbness, denial, anger, all of these emotions are part of the grieving process. Please share your thoughts on this forum as there are many here who are grieving just like yourself. I hope you can find some peace of mind by sharing. Take care.


My sympathies. :heart: Yes, I think we all suffer from that, more or less, and I personally have guilt about everything that happened too.


I just wish I’d seen her more. I always told mum I’d be with her at the end she was very sedated at the end and the doctor said she’s in the last few days of life so I went home to freshen up and see my 8 year old daughter and I got the call one hour later that she’d died. Tremendous guilt I don’t know how to process it


@Badger121, I’m so sorry about your mum. Yes, it’s completely normal to feel guilty about what you did or didn’t do. My Dad came home from hospital; I stayed with him for a few hours then went home as I was working the following day. I planned to return to him after work but he passed away early that morning. I’m still angry with myself for not staying overnight.


I’m so sorry it’s so painful isn’t it and you question everything you did and didn’t do. We can only do what we think is right at the time but boy does it hurt. Very sorry once again :heart:


I’m so sorry. I understand why it torments you and I haven’t been able to process my own guilt yet, so I’m well aware that it doesn’t help when others tell you, but I’m saying it anyway, you didn’t know it would happen when it did and you couldn’t have known. Sending hugs.


Sending hugs to you too :heart:

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Yes you’re absolutely right - viewed the other way round, we wouldn’t have left them if we knew. We did what we felt was right at the time.


Hi Badger,

I am really sorry for your loss. I wanted to comment on this thread as I have experienced a lot of feelings of guilt too. and Why, I am still unsure.
I have had some counselling which I have found really useful. Something that stuck with me regarding feeling guilty is that for some people (in my case) I feel guilty a lot! But I don’t feel other emotions regularly (in my example anger.) and in some cases we can feel guilt when we have taught our brains to not express other outward emotions. All emotions are natural and necessary to live through, but its so hard when they are so raw.
Hope this makes some sense and isn’t just ramble!
Take care.