I noticed towards the end of my mum’s life, I couldn’t do alot. I did what I could ie washing, shopping took her out when I could. Took control of money, but more the carers took over, 3 times a day. I had lived with mum 50 odd years just over. But I was in a position where I could work too and did. Not just for money but I needed a break from the situation so work was the break. My mum was 95 and would doze off a lot. But mum once said you don’t care about me. But if I hadn’t got skilled in security I might of been homeless now with no future ahead of me. Work keeps me going for now, and takes my mind of things. The future could be a lot worse for me, was I selfish ? obviously I could of lost my Universal credit if I hadn’t made an effort.

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Hello @Keith68,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.

Take good care,

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Hi Keith,
Please stop feeling any guilty thoughts. You lived with your mum and how lucky was she. Sometimes older people say things without thinking and it sticks for ever to the person who hears it.
I have a mother in law who is doing this right now toy husband and the rest of his family. Don’t dwell on words otherwise it will drag you down.
You did the best you could for your mum so hold your head up high.
Feeling like you do is all part of the grief process. My Mum passed Dec2022 and there are times when I feel guilty for lots of things even though I did everything for her and with her. Try to put those words she said once in a box and put the lid on it.
Take time to recover and heal now and every time you think about anything that upsets you instantly put a picture in your mind of a beautiful memory instead. It will help I promise.
One day at a time ok