i lost my mum last on the 236th of April.
she had dementia and was in her own home with carers . its a long story but in nut shell she had a small fall and seen by the doc and the district nurse and the wound clinic who all said she was ok.
I was with her at the weekend and moved her downstairs , I could see she had deteriorated and we were putting more care in place, 24/7 or a home or me moving in .I had been debating moving in since last October.
She had a second fall and was found by her carers , from there she went to hospital, there were no injures from the fall but it accelerated her dementia and she was discharged on EOL.
it took 5 weeks for her to die in a NH, I was with her everyday and at her last breath,
I am now consumed with guilt I should have moved in, there were no barriers I live alone as my son is in uni, I live 3hrs away and could easily have left my job .
I should never have left her after the first fall I was a coward and left her with the carers and my sister who lives close by.
I should have sorted a proper plan with my sister.
I’m trying not to wallow in self pity, I cannot function, I am on Sertraline and Zopocline though sleep still evades me.
not sure why i posted im ghe one who has done this

Hello @olive3 ,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds as though things are very traumatic for you at the moment and you are feeling huge amounts of guilt. Guilt is often part of grieving, please be kind to yourself, take things moment by moment and know your mum would want you to find peace.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share these links with you to help you with your grief.

You might already be familiar with our other Online Bereavement Support services, but if not, you can find out more about our Online Counselling service, our Grief Coach text support service, and our Grief Guide self-help tools by visiting the link.

You may also find this Sue Ryder article of use please take a read when you feel ready - Losing a parent

Take care - keep reaching out,