When I found my fiance on the floor and not breathing I was told by the 999 operated to turn him on his back and start chest compressions. He was stiff, with his arms in the air, cold and covered in large bruises. It’s an image that haunts me and I can’t shake off the feeling of guilt that I didn’t find him sooner. If I had he might have stood a chance but I was too late. The paramedics turned up in hazmat suits - obviously having guessed he was dead. Police came too and I was sent to hospital so I had to leave him. I will blame myself forever
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Hi I understand how you feel I was with my husband when he took a massive heart attack and died, I tried everything too and so did the paramedics but we still lost him. I’m sharing this with you because in the beginning when the shock is so strong and raw and what has just happened guilt can be what you feel the most but you tried so very hard and he will know that. Please take care of yourself what you have been through is so traumatic xx
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I completely understand, I was on my own with my husband & I had to give him CPR with the help of the operator until the paramedics arrived (the longest 14 minutes of my life), the paramedics tried for an hour, I have flashbacks & relive it every day! The guilt I carry “did I do enough” “why couldn’t I save him” “is it my fault” this will haunt me till I take my last breath! Every time I close my eyes I am back there in that moment, the worst moment of my life, the moment that changed my world forever, the moment my heart broke! It is such a heavy weight we carry but it was not a choice we were given, we did not want them to leave us, we desperately long for our lifes to be as they were before, before our hearts broke! Sending u hugs & solace in knowing u are not alone 
xx
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We are all going through the same traumatic journey - so heartbreaking 
sending love and hugs 
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