Today I was sitting waiting at the traffic lights and I just burst into tears it came out of the blue only came to my senses when car behind sounded his horn. now I keep crying like I did when he first died. I feel overwhelmed about Xmas seeing people happy and laughing with their partners and Imy so sad.
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Dear Misprint
Have made several attempts to construct a positive reply to your post but its so difficult as I understand your meltdown only too well. I still have them. Certainly Christmas heightens the pain, the questions of why could we still not have the same happiness and laughter go round and round- questions where we will never get the answers. I don’t think any of us were asking for too much - just wanting the person we love sitting next to us.
Memories are still not enough for me and I don’t think they ever will be. Nor do I feel the presence of my husband in anyway. But I want to be selfish and greedy and just have him here. Not too much to ask ,
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Hi Misprint. I can fully relate to the sudden flow of tears. This is known as a “Grief Tsunami.” I go through the same thing, at home, in the car, at work. This time of year is particularly triggering. I constantly torture myself with thoughts of the happier Christmases with my beloved, now departed Sister & Mum. We are so emotionally vulnerable and so easily set off. I don’t have the answers but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and someone understands. Take care at this difficult time. Xxx
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I think we’re all feeling more fragile moving towards Xmas it just accentuates everything we’ve lost, I’m having emotional days, crying at night can’t focus and totally disinterested in what’s going on around me, I just can’t rally myself around, hugs to everyone xx
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