I have been greeting myself stupid just now and needed to share. First a wee bit of background, do skip this if you have been reading my other posts, its just a catch up for me. As some of you know I lost both my mum and dad. My mum in may and dad a few years ago. I have been having a clearout in my house of late as something to do because I put it on the back burner when I was looking after mum etc. Anyway its been werid because when mum died I started grieving dad. I have been kinda of hurt and angry at her because of stuff over the years where she always favoured my brother and I thought she didnn’t love me so I always felt pushed out . She said she loved me but a lot of the time her actions felt different. I know she did love me its just I realised from a young age that my brother was her favourite. If I told a stranger they just poo poo but close family have seen different. But that is not to denigrate my mum she was the kindest person in the world to strangers. I just felt a little left out at times as a child and felt I brought myself up at times when I really needed my mum.
However as I grew older we became close she used me like I was her best friend and confided in me and stuff. And I doted on her. Yet after all the horrid things my brother and nephew have done to me it has been hard for me to grieve and remember the good times. Also when she was ill I kept telling how nice it was that other cancer patients had left letters to their family and how I hoped for one we discussed it including with another cancer patient who was in the same situation as her but I never got a letter. I hoped so much that that is what she might have left me.
Anyway today when clearing up I found an old birthday card, Not too old but it was a special birthday and many of the times my mum half-arsed my birthdays she meant to do something special but anyway. So anyway I thanked her very much and put the stuff away. However the card had just fallen out the bag and I came across it and saw the back which I hadn[t noticed before and it was a picture of me and my dad (not a great one of either of us its quite blurry but still) and a wee message about them going through them leaving the house to go to the hospital on the day I was born . About de-icing the car and saying that they both loved me very much. It was a while after dad had died . Thats the whole message. Its just that I never saw it before because it was printed on the back of the card. I am in total floods. So much for clearing out the house.
Thanks for letting me share.
Take care all