Dear Dad, I just want to wish you a happy birthday. There are many things I would like to say. It is the second birthday without you. We lost you 18 months ago. The pain of not having you is unbearable. I was so fortunate to have you until Iwas nearly 60, my greatest fear as a child was to lose you. I always worried.
You were not only my wise dad, you were my best friend. Mum didn’t like female children especially so you raised me. I was privileged too have you as my dad.
I still call you most days when I am alone. I shout as i drive in the car ‘dad!’ ‘Dad!’
They say in time the pain decreases, well it doesn’t, umyou learn how to live.
I am even going to be in trouble with HMRC because I couldn’t bear to fill in the forms that said you were no more. It was a finality. I did a couple automatically as it was just part of it but the last part has taken me a long time, not only from the utter pit of darkness where I landed but I got ill physically and mentally with gaps of joy as you became a great grandad my darling dad.
I hope you are in heaven with our loved ones, so many have passed.
I hope you have a nice latte and friendly barista up there. That you take your rod and go fishing with Andrzej who hopefully joined you up there a couple of weeks ago.
Happy birthday my dearest dearest dad. You are missed. Thank you for being beyond the best.
x