Hard day

[Tracey57]

Another hard day today cried lots nearly 3 months on and feel no better at all.Its no time but seems so long since I last saw my wondeful Alan. I just dont know how to be without him .I just feel broken Have 2 grown uo children so have to carry on for them but its so hard What’s the point I know he wouldn’t want us to feel like this but have no idea how to not

[Walan]

@Tracey57 Hi there, I think the first thing to say is well done for making it to 3 months, it’s a really hard road to travel, you will feel broken. It’s been 9 months for me since my wife passed away, when I was close to your point I felt like the shock began to ease and things became a lot more real. It was a difficult time but I did get through it, It’s hard and just asks you to be patient with yourself, give yourself recognition, you’ve made it to 3 months and for all of us that was unimaginable at the start.

[youareunbelievable]

Hugs to you. It is so hard to carry on after such a big loss. I’m sure Alan would be wanting you to live the rest of your life being happy. All our loved ones would. It’s just such a devastating blow. You are in very early days, so hopefully the grief will become a little more bearable over time. We will never lose the grief, but hopefully (as they say) grow around it as we move forward. We have to take the best opportunities we now have for life, unfortunately without our loved ones. We have to just imagine what they would say to us. “Enjoy yourself”, “Have fun”. I know they are just words, but little by little, hopefully we can begin to enjoy ourselves again. I know that none of us want to live in this painful state for the rest of our lives. I guess we just have to try to make the best of things. I try to keep reminding myself of that! Chin up… keep smiling! Take it one day at a time. Don’t look too far forward. Today is all that matters. Cry, scream, shout… whatever. Definitely don’t keep it bottled up inside. Talking to friends or family really helps (as long as they don’t get sick of hearing about the ‘moaning’… if they do, find someone who really cares and will listen!). Do you journal daily? It’s a good way to let out your feelings, and communicate with our loved ones by writing it down. xxx

[Ali29]

3 months is tough and it will be, you’ve lost your foundations and everything has been rocked to the core. We all knew on day one that this journey was not going to be ready. The only way we can travel this journey is to walk through it, a step at a time. Life for us and then had changed significantly, it’s going to hurt like hell. But with everything in life, we eventually get used to the change, we’ll always know it was there, we’ll always have the memory but it’s going to get easier. For me 3 months was hard, 5 months was hard, 7 months, I’m not bad at all. I’ve got some dates coming up and I expect to be knocked back but with each aftershock it gets a little easier. I miss him hugely, I miss what he brought to our relationship to make us whole, to make me whole, I miss being someone’s most important person but I know he’s around me somewhere because when I really really need him, something always happens to get me through.

[Bill2]

11 months for me still finding it hard to come to terms with losing my lovely wife Pauline anyone else taking that long i think it may never end

[Ali29]

I’ll never come to terms with it but it does get easier to get through each day x

[frances425]

It’s two months today since I lost my soul mate and best friend in the World. I’ve had some better days, usually when I’m distracted with work. But it’s the void, the emptiness and my fear for the future. Even at 39, part of me feels like my life will never improve. I’m desperately trying to be positive and to feel better. I’m so fortunate to have good friends and family, but I just miss my man so much.

[Nickkb]

It is so hard, I know. It has been 18 months for me. It is probably a good thing that you can cry because all that pain has to get out. I still cry from time to time, but not as often now.
I cannot offer you advice. I can only offer support, and to be honest that is the main thing that I leave looked for myself.

[NMcC1]

It’s been 7months since I lost my husband Rick. He was 58. It was just the two of us , no children sadly. I feel worse now than I did 3 months ago. I think I was in shock for a long time.Just can’t stop crying these days and still can’t believe he’s gone and I’ll never see him again. He died after only a few days of feeling unwell and had to have open heart surgery and never recovered. We had a wonderful life and were only back from Christmas in Tenerife and suddenly he was gone. I Just can’t see my future without him. Family and friends are great and do all they can. I find it hard and miss him so much and try to be positive but struggling at the moment. Reading the posts on here helps as you all know what it’s like to loose someone you love so much., xx

[Desmond]

Ahh Bless you, we all go through so much pain and hurt when we lose some one we love