Hard doing thing I used to do

How is it that now I find it really difficult to do the things I used to do? Washing dishes, hoovering, dusting. Everything that I did without thinking about. It now just seems so pointless. The only thing I do that I did before my husband died is feed my dog and take it out for a walk.x


Hi @Loobyloo2 your mind and body has been overwhelmed with stress. So your brain is more or less doing what’s needed in order to survive. Those tasks are to much for it to process. So this may be why your not doing them anymore. You have lost your sense of self. Who you really are.


Hi Loobyloo2

Since losing my wife I found it difficult to carry on with the daily routines of housework, when she was alive I was very happy to do them all for her ( we used to share the work before ), when she became ill I took them over. She would complain and say she was sorry leaving me to do it all. I must admit the work doesn’t bother me now.

My wife Linda, her nickname was also Loobylou, she was called this from being an infant.

Take care, Barrry x


Hi All
I am from the Loobyloo generation too. i lost my husband in Nov 2020 after an accident when he hit his head on a rock wall. He is sorely missed to say the very least but I feel now I can see light at the end of the tunnel of black despair.
I think now I must carve out a new life for myself but fearful to venture too far. I think I fall back on routine as a support. I’ve got to the point where I can stay at home alone happily but I hate the idea of going on holiday alone. Be assured you will all feel better eventually and you’ll be able to smile again.
with love

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Hi Loobyloo

I’m just like you. My garden used to be my pride and joy and yet I’ve hardly touched it for the last 13 months.
As for housework, Ian and I always did it together and so I just find it so hard to motivate myself now.
My daughter is visiting tomorrow and I know she will be sad to see how I still am. To be honest, I find it hard staying in the house so I spend as much time away from it as I can.

I’m pleased you are still feeding and walking your dog though! My daughter keeps telling me to get a rescue dog. We’ll see……

Take care,
Julie x


Keeping the house clean and tidy is part of me now .

I’ve had to do it all for over a year now practically, I’m rather good at it but I get that feeling of what’s the point but to me I don’t want to drop my standards.

I cried for Mandy again today , to come and give me a cuddle , she didn’t come , I cried out that she can’t and I felt utter despair at the thought I can never have her arms around me when I need her.

At times I don’t want to go on, I’m getting worse not better

It’s when I have nothing to do it all kicks in , the trigger , so I need to keep busy in the house I need to keep it clean for me .


Hi Loobyloo2,
I am the same as you, when my gorgeous man was here I used to enjoy housework, but now can’t be bothered, I find I will start doing the dishes or hoovering and then wander off and do something else so everything is half done, I just don’t seem to have any motivation, my mind just wanders off.
The only thing I make sure I do is walk and feed my dogs, they are my reason for getting out of bed.
It’s such a painful journey we are having to go through and so unfair.
Sending love and strength to all.
Muldool x