Hi everyone,
I lost my dad last year in April. Was by his side from before diagnosis of his illness , cared for him through out illness & by his side taking his last breath.
My dad had a large collection of dvds in 5 folders. Films & comedies to which I have watched over & over with him during the whole illness journey. When he was bed bound for the last 3 years It was the only thing that we could share together as he couldn’t talk in the end . Sitting next to him was a great comfort & I made it really cosy for him.
When he passed away I couldn’t face looking at his folders I put them in bags at the end of the room. When I finally looked at them months later I sobbed remembering each film/ comedy. Some memories of this is nice but a lot of memories remind me of when he watched them well before he got ill. Then when he didn’t want to watch some of them because they scared him. So I’ve sat this afternoon going through the folders. Taking out each & everyone that were his & remind me painful memories.
My problem is letting go. I feel I’m betraying my dad if I do. Its as though I’m getting rid of part of him & the memories of me & him during his illness. But they are painful reminders .
Can anyone relate?
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Hi shell I know just how you feel I lost my wife Jackie at Christmas 2025 after 63 years of marriage , i retired in 2019 to care for Jackie as she had quite a few medical problems.i was 76 at the time and have two cancers.i can relate to your feelings my family keep telling me to take Jackie’s cloths,shoes ,etc to our local hospice charity shop but I can’t find it in me to part with her belongings,you will feel a great connection to your dads things and I think that is a good part of greeving . So what I am saying I guess is keep your dads memories alive in his videos etc untill you feel it’s time to think otherwise. Regards Dave
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Thank you Dave . Sorry for the loss of your wife & I hope you are feeling as well as can be with your cancers. Sone people tell you to move on too quickly but our loved ones existed & are too precious to push aside & forget. Thank you
Your more than welcome shell to be honest I can’t ever see the time when I will part with Jackie’s close belongings dont let anyone tell you to part with your dads things unless in time you feel the time is right keep finding peace and closeness with your dads memories all the best. Dave
Only do what is right for you. This is your journey on this crap path. Only you will know if the time is right. I saw in a book ,if it makes you sick, don’t do it.
Take care.
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Thank you Nightwish1,
It is the crappiest journey.
I’ve decided to take the sad memory ones out of the folders & storing them away in a cupboard. Keeping happier ones amongst my type of dvds . I can’t let go of them yet
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Hello Shell1980s. I know how hard it is to let things go, especially when they hold such precious memories.
I just wanted to share an idea that came to mind. Maybe you could take photos of some of the DVD covers and make a collage or a picture with them. It might be a gentle way to keep those special memories close to your heart, even though remembering them can still bring tears.
I find it hard not only to look at my son’s things but even to hold them. I know I can’t keep everything forever, so I’m always looking for little ways to keep those precious memories alive while carrying them with me. 
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Hi Belovedson,
Thank you for the great idea. I think I will do that I could use it as a back ground with his photos in front of it. Thank you so much