Hard to let go

I lost my mum 18 months ago to MSA and was also her support for 20 years due to her mental health issues so we were incredibly close- not a day went by where we didn’t talk or see each other. I honestly feel as if I’ve lost the other half of me and find it so difficult to move past losing her.
The last year of her life was very stressful as she had moments where her mental health would decline and she believed I was responsible for a lot of bad things so I had to make a decision with the support of palliative care to stay away as my presence really upset her and I carry huge guilt for making that choice as I lost precious time with her and I worry that she thought I’d abandoned her, although I did fulfill my promise to be with her at the end
Every day the guilt mixes with her loss and I feel it will never leave me. I loved her so much and don’t think there will ever be a day where I don’t feel the pain of losing my mum


Vic3, I’m sorry you lost your Mum.I lost my Mum suddenly 19 months ago. I still feel like half of me has been ripped away. I am still grieving heavily.
I have feelings of guilt, which do trouble me. Reading these forums it seems many people experience guilt.
In all relationships we try to establish healthy boundaries for our own wellbeing. We did the best we could at the time under the circumstances.
Clearly, you love your Mum dearly.
Personally, I think grieving the loss will take time.
At the end of the day all really matters is the love.
Take care.

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Vic, mums are so special and most of the time mums don’t know how much their daughters love them. Daffy is right, there’s no timetable for grieving and we all are different, don’t worry, just go with it and take little steps but she will always be part of you. Take care.S xx