Has anyone mentioned...Christmas yet ?!

Hi all …

I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned a specific Christmas thread yet ?? … now the adverts are starting to hit the TV screens I just really felt the grief hit again …it feels incredibly lonely and painful…I’ve lost my mum,dad,sister and very close friend to name just some …my mum loved Christmas and I will be spending it alone…which just feels so very lonely…I’m pleased for those that have family to spend it with etc but I dread the question of ’ what are you doing for Christmas?" …they then go quiet or proceed to talk about the family they will be spending it with ,which again is lovely but it does bite and a reminder of all lost…how is everyone else spending Christmas or coping ? Love to all x


Hi Tray,

My husband and I loved Christmas. My tree would go up on the first of December, then we would watch polar express …… won’t be happening this year!!

This year I will be going through the motions. Yes the tree will go up when I get round to it. But that’s about it.

My mother in law, step son and his girlfriend will coming for Christmas Day. Thankfully I won’t be doing the cooking this year. I think they feel duty bound to be with me…… for me it will be just another day of trying to hold it together …. How exhausting


Hi all
We as a family loved Xmas and it was a really big thing for us. I lost my wife on Jan 2020 so she had been very unwell the previous Xmas which was awful for her. Xmas now as you can imagine doesn’t have same significance it is a very lonely time with upsetting reminders at every turn.I wish I could be more positive and upbeat but I just feel drained both physically and emotionally so I fully empathise with everyone who finds this time of year particularly horrendous
Best wishes to all jim

I use to love Christmas
The coke cola advert would come on the tv ‘the holidays are coming’
I would ring my mum it’s Christmas time !! This advert makes me sad now as my mum has passed away 2 years ago
My husband and I would put Christmas songs on and decorate the whole house inside and out
He died suddenly 3 years ago
I have never put a tree up since
I will see my family at Christmas but it’s so hard to put a brave face on when the two people that you loved so much are not here anymore to share the happy times
I know I’m lucky still to have family and some dear friends to celebrate with
But I don’t want to celebrate
Life is not the same anymore

I do wish you all the best through this horrible season
As best as you can

Hi Scottie 10,

I’m sorry about the loss of your mum and husband in short space of time too.

The Coca-Cola advert and the John Lewis adverts are the ones that me and mum would say it’s officially Christmas…now they have such a sadness to them…I will this year put up a tree and sentimental decorations but it does have this pain feeling with it…there is and emptiness to it…I understand what you mean about putting on that brave face…that sure does get exhausting! .

I’m so glad you have family and friend support that really does help but that emptiness feeling is there, well it is with me.

Thank you for your reply …very kind…I hope today and this upcoming Christmas is a kind one to you.

Hi folks
Would have been 40 years married tomorrow feel absolutely crushed the worst I’ve felt since I lost my wife Jackie also coming up to her birthday and Xmas feel as if I’m getting a kicking if I’m honest. I can understand why people go under I have to cope but I am beginning to question the point of it all.
Thanks for listening jim


Hi Jim
I know how you feel mate.
I lost my lovely wife 6 months ago. She had been ill since
last Christmas so this is a very difficult time for me to, as her birthday would have been in Jan. l find every day hard and so lonely. I also question the point of life but l have family and they keep me going. I brought myself two dogs and they have been my life savers, they make me get up every day and care for them and walk them twice a day. In the evenings we sit on the floor and watch tv together it’s just some form of company in the house otherwise l would have gone crazy.

I will miss my wife every single day that l’m alive as she was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was a very lucky man to have been able to love her for 48 years and share her life. I will never know happiness again like l had every single day with her, god bless you my darling where ever you are and wait for me.

Hi Mar
I appreciate your reply it struck a chord I feel the same loneliness I also find the silence in the house unbearable but the kids keep me going I also bought a dog and walk him with my daughters dog twice a day as you say they have been a godsend . Getting out the house is the main thing especially at weekends when I seem to struggle more. Hopefully things will improve for all of us in a similar situation but I fear a long road ahead. Regards jim

Hi Tray
Yes I too dread Christmas as I have had 31 years of lovely Christmases with my lovely partner.
We would start first with the Christmas tree which I didn’t enjoy as it’s all in pieces in a box but it is well made and expensive.
She bought it 16 years ago and still good as day it was bought as we would assemble the tree and decorations together we put on Christmas songs :musical_note: on and drink sherry it was fun.
So yesterday I could do with cheering up so I got the tree down and I know it’s early but what the hell and with a picture of Pauline looking on I continued with the tradition.
It took longer than normal as you expect and a few tears she’d but it was worth it.
I am so glad I didn’t throw away that tree x

Hi Bill
I find the whole Xmas experience flat and pointless now that my dear wife Jackie is gone . Ironically Xmas was a huge deal for us as a family from putting up tree to handing over presents on Xmas day to the lavish dinner to welcoming family members a really special event. Quite honestly I could go to bed and shut the door until its over but that is unfair on kids so I will make the day as positive as I can. I am certainly no grinch but I’m finding this time of year difficult as it’s approaching second anniversary of Jackie’s passing but it’s essential to be strong for kids and not be miserable as they are suffering too. All the best to everyone.

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