Hate Being Alone

After losing my Husband Peter at try he end of June I have spent so much time on my own. and I hate it. Day after day by myself is overwhelming, Nobody to talk to for days at a time, nobody to discuss your worries with and no one to share mealtimes with any more is soul destroying. I want this awful feeling of loneliness to stop. I know I am not the only one feeling like this but it is destroying me. When will it end?

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Hello MoGreg 1 ,I sympathise with you very much .it’s been two years for me having lost my Mum and husband within 5 months of each other and yes the hardest thing is too much alone time . I’ve survived by volunteering in a charity shop and because of a good friend , family and my dogs .There’s no easy answer don’t give up hope . I feel so alone sometimes that I have imaginary conversations with my husband which is comforting and I pray for strength and read the psalms in the bible. Keep going x

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Hello @MoGreg1.
My situation is the same but it was my mum i lost , she died from a stroke early June of this year . I spend most of my time alone - no one to talk to on a regular basis , eating meals alone ( when i can be bothered that is ). It is soul destroying and the dark night’s make it even worse . All we can do is try to stay strong and keep fighting , hoping in time things will become a little easier . Thinking of you . Love Angie x

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Oh how I can relate to the loneliness, I was married 38 years, lost my wife in February, I do have 2 grown children but they have their lives, I just hate the evenings, sitting alone, know one to talk to, eating alone, sleeping alone, waking up alone, to be honest I feel at the end of my tether, what is the point, I often think to myself if I were to have a fall or heart attack how long would it be before I am missed?? our friends seem to of disappeared, I tried reaching out but who wants to spend time with a grieving 59 year old widower , I suppose they just don’t know what to say to me??

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Hi Tony I was married for 54 years. We were supposed to look after each other. I have the same worry as you, who is going find me if I fall. I do have family and friend who help me but if I were to fall ill how can I contact them? It is frightening being alone especially at night. Take care Moira

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I know how you feel, alone on these dark nights and the next thing bedtime. Tomorrow another day and try and find something to look forward to. You have to get out of the house and meet people. Easier said than done. Keep the phone with you just in case anything happens.

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Tonyo42
I have the same thoughts I to am 59 and worry about falling ill or worse who would know I have two little dogs what would happen to them if I died in my sleep I could lay here for weeks no one would know or care. Friends have all but disappeared since funeral getting on with there own lives not bothered about me. It’s a lonely life sitting here on my own I haven’t spoken to anyone for days

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@Misprint I know what you mean I have a dog and 2 cats. I worry about what would happen to them if I didn’t wake up. How long before someone would get help for them. The only person I talk to regularly is a friend on here. Family don’t bother. Everyday is a struggle emotionally and mentally. And sometimes I just feel like I can’t do it. But somehow I keep trying and I have to for pauline and our babies.

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Good morning @Casey1.
Same for me , everyday is a struggle emotionally and mentally . I can go days without talking to anyone and i do wonder what is the point ? Life can be wonderful but ultimately it is very cruel.
Take care . Love Angie x

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@Angie4 afternoon angie yes life can be very cruel. But somehow we struggle through each painful day. But We do it for our lost loves and we carry them with us in our hearts and minds. I hope today is more bearable for you. Take care angie sending you love and hugs x

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@Casey1
Thank you so much Casey. Today has been a little better, hope yours was too . Love Angie x

I lost my husband in june and you are so right searing pain and loneliness. It helps me to call or write those that are going through similar hardships. There are bereavement groups where you can get penpals. I do think journaling and talking to your loved one helps. I believe they can hear us. Know you’re not alone and l care as do many others. Kathy

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My partner died in November we had known each other for 4 years, he was 70 and I am 66 I was so happy we found each other it felt a really special relationship he lived near Durham and I am in London so he would come and stay with me. Suddenly he felt Ill and wasn’t eating, I was very worried about him but he said he was going into hospital I couldn’t contact him he told his neighbours he was going to see me, he gave his things away to his neighbours saying he was moving in with me before Christmas, then he stayed alone in his house and died in bed, thrombosis and possible liver failure. I think he knew what was happening and he wanted to go his own way so could t talk to me anymore last call he said ‘you have to go when you have to go you have to go with the wind girl’ sometimes it comforts me that he left on his own terms, and I am struck by his courage, other times I go over and over thinking if I could have done something but doing lots of research has helped a bit that nothing could have been done and he would not have been given a liver transplant he was a very independent person, I am as well and we felt like soulmates sometimes I can think at least we found each other and had a beautiful time together and maybe he would have always gone at that time, at least we had the time we did together I never felt so safe and happy and passionate about someone it is all very hard, I am eating now and saw some good friends for Christmas, I have a lovely 32 year old son, I take each day by day, at first I was phoning all helplines and friends just to get through, now I do things I have to do and spend a lot of time alone and quiet somehow I feel close to him like that. The funny thing is I love my electric blanket and getting into a warm bed, Allan didn’t like it ‘ it’s roasting in here!’ And we would laugh about it, now I just don’t want it on any more , I like getting into a cool bed, I feel he is with me somehow my n a different way take care everyone, this is a hard road to go down but you are not alone :hibiscus:

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