Hi everyone, this is my first post, I list my Dad 4 years ago to blood cancer he was a young 7, my marriage ended in April this year because we’d grown apart, because Ibecame a recluse and wanted to be with my Dad, stopped enjoying life.
Then 1st Dec my lovely Mum suddenly passed away age 75 to a catastrophic bleed on the brain, the funeral is 29th Dec.
I just hate Christmas since losing my Dad, I can’t even put the radio on because I hate everything to do with it.
I’ve compiled a playlist called songs for Mum which helps, I can’t face going out, I’m just hibernating till it’s all over.
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Hi @Jen75 sorry to hear about your parents and the recent loss of your mum. No wonder you don’t feel in a Christmas mood, and I don’t think anyone should blame you for that. This will be my first Christmas without my mum. She was my whole family as she brought me up alone. She loved Christmas and was so joyful, so everything is so bleak and dull without her. I can’t stand that she’s no longer here. I think we should just take things one day at a time and not put any pressure on ourselves to feel festive and do anything we don’t want to do. However we feel and however sad and down we are, we are entitled to feel that way. That sounds really nice that you made a playlist for your mum 
It helps to do things to still feel connected to them. My mum bought me fun Next pyjamas every year for Christmas, so I’ve bought some again this year and plan to wrap them up and put From Mum on them. I also bought her a colourful cardigan I know she wanted and will wrap it up for her. I don’t really know what to do with it after, might just wear it myself to think of her. But these things make me still feel close to her and like I’m including her Xx
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@Jen75 @Woo4 so sorry for your loss. It’s an awful time of year. My mums 1st anniversary is coming up on the 29th and our first Christmas without her. We are the same it was just her and she raised me and was an amazing nana to my son. He is not great as everyone at school is excited but he said I don’t have my nana for Christmas and it breaks my heart. We are going non traditional this year, popping to see her brothers as they are all so alike and it’s a bit of comfort for us then home jammies and a takeaway. Look after yourself and do what makes you feel close to her 
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Christmas Day will be just 8 weeks since losing my Mum. Ive told my brother theres no way i want a Christmas dinner, so we’re going to have something completely different. I cant decide about xmas decs - originally i wanted none at all, but now im wondering if i put a few up whether it will help me feel closer to mum (im still staying at her home so everywhere is a reminder of her). Ive currently got a white rose and candle next to a photo of her from a previous Christmas.
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That’s really nice @Ally6. I love having a candle next to a photo of my mum. I light it and talk to her sometimes and it helps me feel closer to her. Most of the time I just feel the huge heavy weight of her loss. I’m the same as you - don’t know whether just to put up a few bits for Christmas or leave the house without decorations this year. My mum loved Christmas so I know she’d want me to make the house colourful. But it feels so wrong without her xx
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