Well I don’t know where to start
Lost the love of my life
Then my mum had to go into permanent care
And today my little chihuahua has had a massive seizure
And all this has enforced how I hate living alone everything is done alone and I hate it with a vengeance .
There’s no ever around when ya need them most
Sorry for my ranting
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Hi Kazzer. You’re not ranting but even if you believe you are this is the place to do it. One way or another we’re all in the same boat with you so you just carry on putting your thoughts on here. My partner passed away a year ago next Tuesday, the 18th Oct. The pain has caught up with me again. I’m lonely and miss her dreadfully. Not looking forward to that anniversary.
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Peterj Iv been on this journey for two years not and I still hate everything about as I did on day 1 . Everything you do is done alone every decisions you make is made alone every issue you are faced with is faced alone I’m. It a loner I’m a people person and need them around me so this lonely life isn’t for me at all . But like everyone else what else can you do but carry on and wade through each day and deal with it as best you can .
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Kazzer. I’m in my seventies now so not much family on my side left but I am very close to one of my brothers in law and his family and I have a great friend who comes to see me once a week so major decisions I can discuss with them. For the first time in my life I’m living alone. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. It’s the evenings I hate most at least during the day I can go out for a walk and try and amuse myself but of course that’s done alone. The rest of the time I’m just here with the tv on looking at four walls. Not how I ever imagined my life would end up. I miss her so much. Sorry I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear I seem to have gone into ’ feeling sorry for myself ’ mode. Best wishes to you.
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Peterj don’t ever apologise for showing your true feelings and I totally understand you . Iv never lived alone either and this house was alway noisy and a hive of activity I have two children ( now grown up ) and my Rob was never quiet he was either singing or playing his ukulele. Like you I never thought my life would come to this
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Hi @Kazzer - it sounds like you’re doing ok as you’re doing all of the things that need to be done . You should be proud of that. No it’s not the life you wanted but sadly, it’s the one that you have. I hope you’re having a better day today.
The things you say about your house and the silence resonates with me. I’ve lived alone for 9 months now and I don’t like it either but we have to keep going. I hope your little dog is doing ok. I’m so grateful I have my dog as she makes the silence I bit more bearable.
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Know what’s that like Kazzer I used to walk around house learning me songs with music on all time .The sound of silence is now deafening.Now can’t stand being in my house.I have to have garden doors open blinds open just to see people
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I know that feeling too. Had a really bad year last year. First of all we lost our border collie at 13, got up August bank holiday to find she couldn’t get up at all and we had to make the decision to put her to sleep, then September last year one of my sisters who I hadn’t heard from in ages contacted me to let me know that one of my twin sisters had only a couple of weeks to live (she passed away peacefully at home with her family around her) then 12th December my husband suddenly passed away. Then as if that wasn’t enough in June this year my other dog had to have a major operation, while waiting to hear the outcome at home I sat there sobbing, it was heartbreaking thinking that my little girl might not survive. I felt so alone, luckily she survived and is doing well. She is the reason I get up everyday. At the moment I can’t listen to the music he loved, as it would reduce me to tears, maybe one day it won’t be so bad. I hate the loneliness especially night-time. We had been married 52 years, and I had known him since I was 16 so a lifetime of togetherness. Don’t think I will ever get over this
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So sorry to hear of the tough time you are having. I can sympathise as I lost my mum in February. My two sisters and I were holding her when she passed and are grateful for that…2 weeks later my 16 dog died in our arms after a short illness…My partner wasn’t as supportive as I needed. One example being he went back to his lodgings the night I bought my mums ashes home as he said I was making too much noise in my sleep! It was like someone punching me in my stomach…The loneliness is really kicking in now…I pray we all find some relief.
Your partner certainly wasn’t supporting you as he should, I know how you feel about the loneliness. Even having the children pop in now and again. They’re not here on the nights when you go to bed on your own and cry yourself to sleep. Not every night now it’s just when you remember a certain thing he said or did, it can set you off. I even dreamt about him last night, the first time since he went.
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Beach girl omg you really have had more than your fair share of heartache . Night time are the worst time of day and seem to drag even more now we are in to dark nights
Hi Kazzer, true nights are the worst, days can be pretty lonely too. There is only so much you can do to occupy your time during the day. Have started to redecorate the house, so painful it’s as if I trying to remove every trace of him, but that’s not the case. It hurts to be reminded of all the work he did in the house There is so much of him around that he will never be forgotten. Every room he decorated with a little help from me. The only memory I am wanting to remove is the image of him lying on the floor in the bedroom. I can’t bear that, I avoid the rug that he was lying on but I can’t seem to throw it out. Maybe in time.
Take care
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Beach girl I know what your saying the first thing I had to do was decorate my stairs as Rob had his heart attack in our room and he was a big chap so they had to get him downstairs on a board and they scuffed my wallpaper ( can’t be helped I know) and everyday was a constant reminder , so I know exactly what your saying take care stay strong 