Having a really bad day

It’s been 15 weeks since we lost our son, who was 41. He was severely disabled and we had cared for him throughout his life. As you can imagine this has left a massive hole in our lives.
I’ve been coping by just taking each day as it comes and trying not to thinking ahead. Today is my other sons birthday and normally we would all go out for a meal to celebrate but my son has said he just can’t face it and to be honest Neither can I. I know if we did go out I’d go through the motions but would feel absolutely awful when we got home.
I feel terrible today, I’ve spent all morning looking at photos of my beloved son and trying to remember all the happy times we had but I just can’t stop crying, oh the pain is unbearable. I feel I don’t want to move or do anything.
I’ve arranged to meet a good friend tomorrow, just hoping I’ll feel up to it.
I feel as if I’m in a limbo waiting for something, but what I’m waiting for I don’t know as I know my son is not coming back.


Hello @Reet41, I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. Your loss is so recent and raw, and it is completely normal and okay to have really bad days. I am glad you have reached out to the community for support - you are not alone. If you feel that some extra support for you and your family might be useful right now, you can take a look at our Online Bereavement Support page, which has a few options you can explore.

I also wanted to send you and your other son gentle thoughts today and let you know you that have been heard.

Take care,

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Good morning reet. I’m so sorry for your loss I know exactly where you are coming from the pain is horrendous and unbearable I lost my youngest of to breast and liver cancer in Jan this yr she was 25 and a beautiful girl and devoted mum to her little boy it’s crucified me I feel someday s I can’t go on n feel like giving up but I know she wouldn’t want me to give up she was a fighter right to the end. So I must try and fight to get through each day the best I can take care luv. Shelleyanne XX :heavy_heart_exclamation: