Iv been on here before a few times , I lost my dad in November on his birthday I’m only 28 and just can’t believe this is real. Recently I feel like I’m struggling more everyday, like the pain is getting worse everyday , I feel so down and unhappy. I’m having nightmares about my dad passing and feel traumatised thinking back how poorly my dad was and just how unfair life is. I know not everyday will feel this bad but just so sad
Are you looking after yourself? Eating well, staying off work if that’s what you prefer (I lost my beloved dad in November and am yet to return to work), getting outdoors for a walk?
It’s horrible, and rubbish, and awful, and unfair, I know .
Hi @Katiel bless you, I feel the same. I get hit with these waves of feeling how it’s so unfair, I want to scream and cry at the world, why was my mum taken from me when I’m only 32 and still need her so much in life I also have bad and confusing dreams about my mum and horrible flashbacks, I think it’s like you said, we’re traumatised by it all. I just try and distract myself as much as I can from the awful images, read something, watch something, talk to someone about it or about something completely different , come on here and make a post or read other comments to feel connected, these things can help momentarily, and knowing you’re not alone in your grief.
I hear you and I understand x
Thank you for replying. Yeah I think I need to try keep myself busy but sometimes even in the business of life I still feel so traumatised by it all ! Just so unfair isn’t it it’s so hard as we have no choice but to carry on when we are grieving someone who we love so much!
Hi thanks for the reply. Yes well I’m trying too I’m back at work which does help me distract from reality but as time is going on it’s getting harder and even when I’m busy I feel my brain drifting off and thinking about dad but about how poorly he was and how he suffered. I wish I could just think of the happy times we had but a dark cloud seems to be taking over at the moment and I know my dad wouldn’t want be to be like this it’s just hard
I lost my Dad in November too, 4 months after he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was so fit and healthy and had just retired that we were all convinced he’d be with us for years and years to come. He went down hill within a month of diagnosis, I moved in to help, and I watched my dad like you did deteriorate and suffer. He was so frustrated and sad. It was a very rare occasion to see my dad cry, and it was the most heart breaking thing I could ever imagine going through. I see the pain in his eyes daily, mostly when I wake up and at night in bed. I remember his last breath, his cold hands that were once famously super soft and warm. As time goes on my grief is changing shape from the gut wrenching sickness, to the empty silence…I miss his voice, I miss his input into our lives, I miss his jokes and his opinions. I don’t know how we are meant to survive a life without our Dads, but survive we will because that’s what they would want.
My only coping mechanism to get through the darkest times has been to push forward in my career and I’ve gained new employment this year that I never thought I could whilst in this horrible state of sadness, but somehow the wrenching pain of missing him has given me power to keep pushing on harder than before. I truly believe we as humans are fully equipped to survive grief, and thrive, we just have to believe in ourselves and dig down deep to find the strength to get through and endure.
I still wake up every single morning wishing it had been a bad dream and he would be there on the sofa downstairs drinking his morning coffee, yet he never is…so I get on with my day as best I can, as life is so precious, and I hope again I’ll maybe see him tomorrow
Take care of yourself, you’ve got this xxx
i lost my mum in December. i feel the same. i get really overhwhelmed with everything. i keep trying to think that this bad dream and i wake up my mum will still be hoping she here. when shes not i just try to distract myself and get on with my day as best as i can. its not easy but i know you’ll get there x
I’m so sorry for your loss so heartbreaking same as my dad fit and healthy then cancer just ruined everything !
Thank you for the your words I really needed to hear that I know they would want us to keep going and for them we do but it’s just so traumatic and hard to carry on this life without them.
I know we are only suffering so bad because the love we have is so strong!
Thank you , you take care also …xx
Thinking of you also it’s so rubbish isn’t it xx