After Jack died in October 2018 - I think I was frozen inside
I felt pain, hurt, sorrow loneliness like we all do - there are lots of things I don’t remember . I know I missed him - but I don’t know if I thought about him all the time - I just don’t remember
All I know is that is now he is with me all the time ! I think about him all the time!
I think about him when I carry heavy stuff and he is not here to help, I think about him when I am crying and he can’t console me
He is with me when I go for walks, when I want to share news, when I am alone and when I have company
He is with me when I cook, when I teach, when I step in the new house and when I go to the old one
I constantly think about him
After 27 months I still wished I could bring Jack back - I wished we could relive our lives again and again
He is with me when I regret my moments of impatience, when I regret how I found difficult when he retired ! I regret that I didn’t make more apple pies!!
I constantly think about Jack -
Now I am in our old house - and as I look around I wished I could pack everything and come back - but I also know Jack would say that is better to have moved closer to our daughter!!
I think about him all the time - he is with me all the time and all the time I am so aware that he is not here! He is dead, I died with him and I am alone
I don’t like my life without Jack
Sadie