totally getot. mu husband died in front of me on w9th dec 2024
still shocked even though have done all the official things cremation,memorialand asges last week.my father also died on march 10th 2025which was expected but still miss him a lot
29th December 2024!!
Hi Lonely Planet, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and know how shocked and traumatised you must be feeling.
I lost my husband suddenly at home when he was 56 with absolutely no warning. Not getting to say goodbye was devastating.
It’s a year and a half since he died and I miss him every single day. It does start to not feel as raw as the stage you are at now, and I like you, thank god for my sons as I don’t know what I’d do without them. My friends have also been amazing.
It still hits me like a sledgehammer though and not as much on the birthdays etc because you’re ready for them; it’s the out of the blue moments that floor you. We had a patio table I knew we’d bought not long before he died and I couldn’t face unpacking and building it last year so I did it last weekend and the receipt showed we actually bought it online the day before he died. It absolutely broke my heart all over again that just the day before, we were so unknowing of what lay in store.
A sudden death is I think quite different because you are just so unprepared. However when I try to think positively I am glad to know he didn’t suffer and was at home with us. He also had no idea which for his sake I’m relieved as he was always a bit scared about health problems. Perhaps this can bring you some small comfort too that he did not suffer.
You will get through this and come out the other side still heartbroken but it won’t be so overwhelming. Sending big hugs x
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Im so sorry…sometimes words are never enough. My partner died suddenly in may 2025 (last week) and we never said goodbye. He just never woke up. I have a 4 year old…so, i get you. My child is the only thing keeping me going too.
I think like this- my partner would not have willingly left. Im sure yours would have agreed. Take comfort in knowing how much he loved you, and your son x
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@MrsS2025 I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your words, the pain comes in waves which makes life so hard.
Warmest of hugs to you x
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Hugs to you too. I get what you mean about the pain coming in waves- although im still swinging between upset and anger. How’s your son doing? Im sure he’s been a real comfort to you.
Tell you what though…this early stage of grief is like a recurring nightmare. I honestly think I’ll wake up to find it’s been a sick nightmare. But reality kicks in. And it can jog on!! But, i hope time is being kind to you. How have you found the last few weeks?x
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@MrsS2025 Everything is raw for you and I completely understand the ‘recurring nightmare’ feeling. In the first two weeks, when woke up in the morning, for a split second I used to think it was a nightmare. Then reality hit and the pain of loss was like a punch in the stomach.
Your child is young but they must be asking where daddy is? I feel for you. My son is a teenager and is able to tell me how he’s feeling. Still, he has his moments of missing his dad very much.
The first weeks don’t get easier but I’m two months in and although I’m carrying on day to day, I’m emotionally numb.
Big hugs to you and your child. You are not alone, although it may feel like it xx
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My little girl has Aspergers syndrome, and struggles emotionally. So, the school have been amazing at helping her cope. She insists on speaking to Pav, and it’s hard to hear and watch- but, it works for her. Thursday 15th may was his birthday, and she still made a card- it was cathartic for her i suppose. That said, i still text him every morning- the “pre work text” routine. Again, cathartic.
Its only me and my daughter- no other family. Pav’s family sadly passed- they’re ukrainian, and most of them have died in the war out there. I have no family. So, every day its a pep talk in my own head- “put your brave face on, and get up!” Time will be a healer, but also a giant jerk. Will never miss Pav less than we do now. Numbness saves from completely losing my mind. I do hope you’re as ok as you can be- i know being “ok” isn’t likely, but i hope you get what i mean x
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@MrsS2025 You have so much to deal with right now. When there is a child who is grieving, a parent may sometimes hide their grief and prioritise the child.
You will need support too. I’m sorry that you don’t have family around you but this forum is a good source of support.
Hugs to you both xx
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