Hi all,
Not sure what to have written on partners headstone.
He had children ( 7 and 12) with his wife, they were separated but the divorce didn’t get completed before he died.
Also there is an older daughter (26) of his who hardly saw him in the time I was with her dad.
He was close to my daughters although we hadn’t been together that long before he passed but had known each other for over 10 years.
I think myself and his brother are organising the headstone but as you can see it’s complicated as to what is supposed to be written on the headstone.
The last thing I need is an argument as I don’t talk to his eldest daughter or his wife and really do not need any hassle off either of them.
Appreciate any help/ advice
A headstone is something personal but just an idea
A true gentleman sadly missed by all his family
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Thank you
That sounds a lovely suggestion 
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I was in a very similar situation to you, the difference, I suppose, being that non of her family were interested in being involved, which has been the status quo throughout her illness.
So I organized and paid for the headstone and interment of her ashes myself.
Made the mistake of allowing some of them to attend the interment service - which I only did because I thought she would have wanted them there.
Then the issues with the epitaph inscription started - no good deed goes unpunished.
Long story short - if you can avoid them beng involved, do so.
And the headstone must be for your partner and those who actually were in his life.
Despite all the drama that ensued over the epitaph, I go to the grave every week and there has never once been fresh flowers on the grave in 6 months
The epitaph I had inscribed
Cherished Partner, Everlasting Love
Forever in our Hearts
Until we meet again, RIP sweetheart
Love you now and forever
xxx
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Where did you put her head stone ? Kev passed away we live by uou butbi havnt thought off a head stone at all…just have his ashes in a carboard bos from champs the funeral place
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I interred her ashes and had the headstone erected at the church graveyard where she had her funeral in Cliviger.
I was originally thinking of Burnley Cemetery, but the graveyard where the funeral was held seemed more appropriate, even though the cemetery would probably been better practically - the graveyard is on a steep embankment and there will be ground shift eventually.
I hated the cardboard scatter box - just seemed so cheap. You can get some nice personally engraved urns from Etsy.
Your choice of having a headstone erected and where is personal choice and if it’s a cemetery or church graveyard - there is a difference between the two in terms of cost and land ownership
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@MemoriesOfUs thats a beautiful epitaph . I have started to think about my partner’s ashes and as soon as I am settled into a more permanent home ( hopefully within the next month or so ) I am going to have his ashes with me for a while . I will eventually get them interred but I’m going to wait a while . As this thread shows , a lot of thought needs to go into the inscription. I’ve so many wonderful things I want to write , it will be very difficult making it concise .
Yours to your wife is very beautiful 
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Thanks @Ladysuisei6
Yeah it’s not something to rush - the whole process and need to do it in your own time and when you’re ready
I’m glad I did inter her ashes - was very torn at the time about what to do, but it’s the only place that I feel somewhat connected - if you can call it that - to her
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@MemoriesOfUs well by the looks of things I’m going to be kept waiting regarding the housing situation, so I won’t get his ashes until I’m settled. Gosh this is all so hard and heartbreaking isn’t it
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@Ladysuisei6 it’s heartbreaking in any circumstances, but having everything hanging in the air must be difficult.
I hope you manage to get flat sorted out and give you an answer next month
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@MemoriesOfUs yes losing our loves is absolutely heartbreaking- just had a bad conversation with my son where once again he tells me I’m selfish and not trying hard enough. Where did I go wrong xxx
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I felt bad when I saw what my partners sisters put on his headstone. They put beloved brother, partner and uncle when I had cared for him for 10 years and been with him for 25 years. They had rarely seen him and they don’t have anything to do with me now.it hurts every time I go to the crematorium because I am the only one who goes there x
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You have all my sympathy,I was with Peter for 38 years,we hardly saw his son who lives 2 miles away he fell out with us 18 months before his death because we were unable to attend the grandsons wedding due to us both having mobility issues.Peter died very suddenly they never contacted me I didn’t even know if they were attending the funeral but they did .Afterwards they didn’t contact me I had to arrange everything myself I have no kids,his son tried to contest the will and take everything off me fortunately he was informed he hadn’t a leg to stand on.Families can be so cruel.