We lost our mum last year to cancer and have recently got her headstone, I knew it would not be a happy day but to see her name on a headstone really hit me hard and the horrible waves of grief seem to have hard. I have been a few times but I’m getting no comfort from visiting, is that quite normal?
I visit my husband’s grave and when I look at the wording on the headstone I feel totally detached from it. How can it be my husband? It still feels surreal after 7 years. I go to take flowers because I want it to look nice but, in all honesty, it’s just a memorial. I don’t feel him there at all but it is a nice place to sit and ponder and to just listen to the silence.
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Understandable that seeing the headstone makes it very real. I felt a mixed emotion seeing it there for my husband.
I know I got upset by pigeon poo which I hadn’t thought of on it as if that isn’t going to happen.
But felt horrid. So have to go now with wet ones to scrape it off and grass that has stuck to it. They strim around it.
I was upset when I didn’t have a headstone then waiting it it. Deciding what to put on it and changing my mind. I think everything we feel is normal because we are all different.