Since my son passed 6 weeks ago, Callum who had only just turned 29, the reality off his loss weighs so heavy in my heart and the hearts of his siblings, the nimbness has faded and this new normal really doesnt feel likeca normal … i find myself watching comforting afterlife videos on youtube, which gives some comfort, but this grief is flooring at times. Im on long term sick from work as my brain isnt functioning right, small examples i put frozrn lasagna in a cupboard, i forget conversation i have had and i lose items quite frequently. This was our first xmas with Callum and it was horrid. It was hard for us all. I sat and nibbled and cried (cry all the time while eating) his sister took refuge in my kitchen and cleaned up and his brothers stayed away from the house until late evening. I opened his previously ordered xmas present with his uncle and it was just sad … hes not here to enjoy the items bought for him … having his ashes near helped a little but i puctured the things he would usually do around this time. Im just so sad. So very very sad. Changed. Broken. Fearful. I miss Callum deeply. I love him. I misd him. I hope one day to let go of the pain, to let the hurt fade so i can remember my boy in honour and fond memories without all this deep hurt. My mind doesnt function as it did, im not as sharp. Some nights i just want to scream his name to the skies. I have unto pillows and blankets. It hurts so much. Im heart sick. Does this rver get lighter ? It certainly doesnt feel this way x
Hi Lea-mum-Callum
I’m so sorry to hear about Callum. It sounds like things are really tough right now.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing how you are feeling with us.
Keep reaching out,
Rhi
I am so sorry this has happened to you. Your words echo the way I feel. We lost our lovely son Simon aged 33 at end of November and I too am screaming inside as life continues around me. My husband and daughter have been so wonderfully supportive, even though they are grieving too, but I know life will never be the same again. I keep talking to my boy, hoping somehow that there will be a reply or a sign from him, but so far nothing. I can understand the total hell you are in as I am there too. Life is so unfair and I would have died to keep him alive.