heart broken but proud to of been Jaynes soulmate

I read many posts,sometimes without logging on,So many members have lost their significant other half .Some are seemingly getting on with their lives.Doing things to occupy their time.Ive never been one for reading,But decided,i would read a few of the shorter stories in Jaynes readers digest book.Jayne absolutely loved reading,she had 2 kindles which I got for different birthdays,Yet Jayne still had 100s of books.Lots of history books,many books on Egyptians ,romans Aztecs ,Jayne decided to do a course on Egyptology at Manchester University,many a time id have go in the car with her to drop her course work off at the tutors house.Just about meeting deadlines,Jayne thrived under pressure,this was just a shortish course to put her toes into studies and extra qualifications.she got a certificate to say she completed the course.Then decided to do a degree in classical studies,Jayne loved all the different civilisations throughout history hence this was a subject close to her heart.i actually found a note book were Jayne had written what she was grateful for,on this she had put she wanted to do a degree and get honours degree,this was written in 2005 and the degree was achieved with honours in 2013.think it took 5 years to do as Jayne had a very stressful demanding job.which she loved .but struggled to find time to do her studies ,so was a great achievement,obviously i put a little post in the local paper and congratulated her.and said how proud i was .Jayne wanted then to do a masters.we looked at costs and would be a bit tight on our finances,but something happened at work were the ceo said they would pay for Jayne do do her master,Jayne chose business studies at Cranfield university.Jayne worked her little heart out between working full time and travelling to and from work .within 14 months Jayne had finished and passed her masters degree.you guessed again i posted in the local press and was very proud of Jaynes achievements.
sorry i digressed but was so proud of Jayne just couldn’t stop myself diverting off course to mention my baby Jaynes achievements.
reading Jaynes books,i used to ask her why she had tears in her eyes at times,thinking id upset her,Jayne would say its just something in the book im reading,well after reading about 9 of these stories over the last few months i now know why Jayne had tears in her eyes.ive blubbered like a big baby at times reading some of the stories.sometimes tears of deep sadness other times of happiness.and like ive mentioned in a few posts im living my life with Jayne in my heart mind and soul and trying do things Jayne loved,its my only way of coping.heres hoping every body finds their own way of coping.i will miss Jayne till i leave this mortal coil and not a day will go by when i dont shed a few tears dwelling on the memories i shared with the most important person ever to walk into my life.im a very lucky man,sadly it doesnt always feel like that as life is not the same without being able to get cuddles from my baby Jayne.

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Carry on reading Ian :open_book:, it looks like we’re going to have plenty of time. I’ve always loved reading too. Like your Jayne, I have both books and kindles. The kindle was great when my husband was here because I could read it in bed without having to have a light on. I know what you mean about cuddles Ian. Oh to feel my man’s arms around me :hugs:

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Hello, Ian,
I too love reading, I have always said that if anyone had a good book then they had a friend.
Your Jayne sounds to have been a wonderful lady, who could turn her hand/mind to any challenge. She was a partner to be proud of, I am glad that you are getting into reading, it will do you the world of good and bring your Jayne closer, if that is possible.
Take care x

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thank you very much Kate.
I have access to Jaynes kindles,but I just read the readers digest condensed stories.and im doing this mainly because im living with my baby Jayne in my .heart mind and soul and Jaynes favourite was reading .
regards ian

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thank you very much Mary,
yes Jayne was one in a trillion,and I was a very very lucky man to of stolen her heart.i gave her mine the minute I set eyes on her.
regards ian

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hi Kate
Jayne had 2 kindles and ive got both here in my girly bedroom which is how Jayne would of had it.they are fully charged and I know the pws ,but I cannot bring myself to use them.they were Jaynes and I can picture her reading them as thats what Jayne did to unwind and relax after her stressful job.trying get Jayne go to bed when she was really into the story she was reading was nigh on impossible.like so many of the people on this wonderful site,im learning that we are here because we couldn’t get through our lives as we were ,and we needed to try find things that might help,and im glad I wondered around the net and found all you wonderful people,its not made losing Jayne any easier but its given me a group of people who understand what im going through as we are all on the same boat,just that some are seemingly handling things better than others.thank you again Kate .and every body else whose trying to help every body else.

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Don’t forget Ian, that you are one of those wonderful people you mention. I think you are handling your grief better than you know. We have our coping strategies and hopefully they will do just that. You are travelling your road and we on here are witness to your journey. You are doing brilliantly Ian and your Jayne will be so proud of you. She’ll be looking down on you with the biggest smile on her face, thinking “That’s my Ian.” :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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