My daughter was also 47. She died last Thursday night, after a very short illness. It was the last thing on earth that I would have expected . She was a rare human being in that she knew how to be happy in all aspects of her life - with her partner and family, at work and in her activities outside work. She was loved by so many people and had so much to live for. My great good fortune was to have her, and my great misfortune, to lose her. I have no words to say how I feel.
so sorry for your loss,sad at any time of year but at this time when everyone seems to be playing happy families it can be very hard. it is very early days for you ,all I can say is let the tears flow when they need to ,and take care of yourself. I have a very good book entitled grieving the loss of a loved one in one chapter she recommends tissues and a candle!
Today has been one of the worst days for me since Christian died, canāt stop the tears and just roaming around the house looking for different items, clothing or anything that belonged to him just to try and get some comfort from them. I light candles every night for him I just hope he can see them wherever he is.
Hi Marina m2, I feel your pain, it is so so difficult and harsh but let your tears flow. Finding it all so hard, dread sitting around the table without my Daughter, have spoke to her two boys this morning, my heart breaks for them, 1st Christmas without their wee Mum, it is all so cruel, my heart is broken, feel total despair. Take care, big hugs xx
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Donāt know how I got through today but itās nearly over and I just about coped. I met my daughterās wonderful partner, who was bearing up better than me, and we went with his two adult children and the dog to Studland beach for a walk. Then he and I had a cold buffet of food from Tesco - not the kind of home-made stuff we always had other years. We watched the Carry On films to stop ourselves from dwelling too much on how we felt. Now Iām home and in such pain. I have lived on my own since Marian left to be with her partner - nearly 23 years - but I never felt really alone until now. To all of you out there who are mourning - I am too. I know how you feel.
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Five weeks ago today we saw our son Christian for the last time not that we knew it then,we had arranged to meet him for lunch near where he lived he looked well and happy and a big grin on his face which he usually had,we had lunch then did some Christmas shopping then we drove him back to his flat we got out of the car to say goodbye and he looked at me quite strangely I asked him if everything was okay and he said yes everything is fine we got in the car and that was the last time we saw him aliveā¦he had arranged to come down to us on the Friday to put up the Christmas decs outside something he was looking to doing but he phoned to say he could not make it, I was disappointed and we were cool with one another he said he would phone on the Saturday which he never did and we never heard from him all that weekend but that was not unusualā¦On the Monday morning at exactly 05:00 I woke up with such a panic I tried to get Christian on his mobile and landline but no answer I woke my husband up to ask him if he could up to Christianās just to make sure everything was okay forty minutes later he phoned to say he had found Christian deadā¦ Christian suffered with diabetes and it appeared it had spiralled out of control his funeral was on the 21st of December.
We are now left not only with deep grief of losing our youngest son but if we had gone to see him that weekend like we normally did he could have still been alive today and now that guilt will stay with us for the rest of our livesā¦
So sorry for your loss, I lost my son suddenly in 2012 and I did not know how I would get through it but you will, I kept his Facebook profile open and I write to him on there, it gives me great comfort,
Marina, I am wondering how you are coping now. I have been reading your messages which are heartbreaking but Christian would have known how much you loved him and it sounds as though you were very close.
I lost my darling daughter on the 1st February and am struggling so much. I just keep breaking down I tears every day but try to keep going for everyone else.
Big hugs to you all. x
Hi Victoria,I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Daughter and I know the struggle you are going throughā¦The death of a child regardless of age is something no parent expects in life it is something we are never prepared for so the shock the grief and the agony is unbearableā¦I cannot yet speak of Christian without crying but grief shows the love you had for that person so we must be grateful for all the years we had them with usā¦Like the poem says (Better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all)ā¦Christian had two dogs so I am kept quite busy looking after themā¦walkies and everything at least they are keeping me fitā¦you have to keep going for there is no alternative and also for the rest off the family they too are grievingā¦when Christian died part of me went with him I will love and miss him until the day I dieā¦He would have wanted me to be happy and not sad so I will do my best not to let him downā¦
It is very early days for you and there will be tears but I found it helps to cry and also coming onto this forum brings some comfort there are so many of us that have lost our children so we can voice how we feel and be understood.
Love to all Marinaā¦xxx
Dear Marina, I am tearful much of the time and not sleeping too well.
I do find the forum helpful though just knowing that others have gone through the same grieving process and come through gives me hope.
I too feel that part of me died with Gemma and will miss her until I die. Quite honestly I am only here still because of others.
Much love to you xxx
Hi Victoriaā¦I think grief plays with our emotions, tears obviously play a large part but sleep also,I was never a person that went to bed early but since Christian died I find 21.00 can be a late night for me.I also get nervous if left on my own in the dark so I am thankful of the longer days which are looming in front of usā¦There as been many times this last four months I have thought I canāt do this I canāt carry on anymore but there is only one alternative and I think we have to much love for our family to even contemplate it ā¦ Itās a time we never thought we would have to cope with so we
are not prepared for, but in time hopefully we will be able to think of our Sons and Daughters and be thankful for all the love,happiness and laughter they brought usā¦ Take careā¦with love Marina xxx
Such wise words, Marina ā¦ thank you. Gemma has left two lovely boys and I couldnāt bear for them to suffer another loss so I keep going for them. I am sure we will all be reunited with our beautiful children one day.
I hope you donāt mind if I post to you in the future so we can see how we are doing.
With love xx
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Hi Victoriaā¦It does help to come here and speak to people who are all suffering the loss of a childā¦Having family and friends who are kind and understanding can give massive support but until you have lost a child yourself no one could imagine the turmoil and torment that you feel insideā¦With loveā¦Marina xx
Thank you Marina ā¦ I am going to see my GP tomorrow so will let you know how I get on xx