Heart broken

Hi,I lost my mum A year ago today ,we was very close she was also my best friend, we used to talk on the phone at least 4 times a day, she had been ill for some time but docs said she was doing ok ,she went in hospital which wasn’t uncommon every few weeks or a month should go in spend a couple of days or week then be home ,again this is what we expected again this time they couldn’t do nothing and she passed away with me and my brothers by her side ,I don’t know how 2 cope with all my feelings of I didn’t my have daughter 2 years old now I don’t think I would be here, if anyone has any advice to help please I do with it.

Hi Daydreamer

I am so sorry to read about your Mum. First anniversaries of losing those we love are very hard, the build up to the day itself and then the interminable day itself remembering what has happened. The day does pass somehow though.

You and your brothers must have had a dreadful time but you must be so relieved that you could be with your Mum at the end. For your Mum this would have been comforting knowing you were there. I was with both my parents when they passed away and felt it was a privilege to be with them and see them through their last moments.

I am glad you have a daughter to bring you joy at this time. Watching her grow must be lovely for you. What you must do is tell your daughter all about her Grandmother and keep her memory alive. Your daughter carries part of you within her and your Mum.

I take time every day to remember my Mum and Dad and the lovely childhood I had. Remembering them as they were when they were younger and healthy is something I find is important for me. I don’t want to remember their last moments when they were not well and no longer the witty, beautiful and kind people they used to be.

Taking time for yourself everyday is important. Ten minutes when your daughter is napping or busy is all it takes. Just relaxing and doing something for yourself rather than others is good. A cup of tea or coffee in the garden if you have one is good. A little treat every so often to help you get through rough days helps too.

I am just over two years on from losing my Mum and some days are still hard for me. Other days are better but there is always a niggle in the back of my mind. I have accepted the loss of Mum but that doesn’t mean I like it, I just hope things will improve in the future.

Take care