Hi. I lost my Mum just over 3 weeks ago. I can’t even really describe how I feel except to say I can’t bear to do the ‘normal’ things in life at the moment, food shopping & working just feel so pointless. I feel empty and like I’m doing things on auto pilot without properly engaging my brain… if that makes sense. If I engage it I might feel even more pain. I just can’t comprehend that I’m never going to see her again 
Sorry for your loss. 
Everything you feel is perfectly normal and I think all of us have felt the same. The everyday things seem pointless because in some sense they really are, compared to what we have lost. It’s early days for you and you are probably still in shock, which makes it feel even more unreal. It’s good that you found your way here, the forum is a lifeline for many and I hope it will be helpful for you too. 
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Thank you Ulma. It’s sad but also a comfort that so many people understand the feelings we go through when losing a loved one. I think grief is the price we pay for loving someone so much…wouldn’t change the love I had for my Mum, or she had for me, ever though. Just wish I could turn the clock back…
Thank you again for your kind words x
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I’m really sorry about your mum Ange - the journey of grief is such an agonising one.
I lost my grandad around three weeks ago too. And I feel like the person I was before he died has also died with him.
The idea of going to work and doing the stuff I used to do when he was alive feels like truly accepting he’s dead. And I go out and see people carrying on with their lives I feel so sad and everything seems so pointless.
They’re carrying on with their normal lives, but our normal has changed forever. I don’t really like it when people say time heals all wounds - because I don’t think it does. This will be something that will be here forever but the way we manage and cope evolves. Hopefully it becomes less painful.
But you’re right - this grief represents the impact someone has had on your life and how deeply rooted in your heart they were. And the absolute love you had for your mum will never ever change.
I think I just miss the things that will never happen. And I regret not telling him that I loved him more.
I hope all is well with you Ange and that the day goes as well as it can do.
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Hi @Ange04 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum 8 weeks ago and what I have learnt is that grief is complex. I go from beside myself and in tears to ‘ok’ in such a short space of time, then maybe I’m numb, angry, guilty. Coping for me is about being kind to myself, finding a sense of achievement in the smallest things - putting the bins out even! And this community has helped when I want to get thoughts out of my head but don’t want to ‘burden’ my family or friends… I completely agree what you said ‘grief is the price we pay for love’ and goodness me I loved my Mum with all my heart, and like you, wouldn’t change that, but it hurts a lot now! I have found keeping a diary, and sometimes writing to my Mum in it helps me. I can hear her voice when I write to her - I even have ‘pretend’ conversations - when I dropped my eldest son back to Uni a couple of weeks ago I ‘chatted’ to Mum as I would have always been on the phone to her on a journey. Do whatever feels right for you to cope. I don’t think I will ever accept that my Mum has gone and I am hoping in time I’ll be able to recall all of the happy times and not just the sadness and the hardest weeks when she was ill. Sending love and strength to you x
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Thank you Choccy and I’m so sorry about your Grandad too I completely empathise with everything you’ve said. I so wanted the world to stop. It felt, and still does feel, so wrong that everything goes on as normal around us & I also feel everything is so pointless now… how can the most special people just no longer be here yet everything else continues!
Keep talking to your Grandad, as I will my Mum. I bet they knew just how much we loved them (and always will) but I get it’s just not the same as being there with them saying those words 
Here anytime for you xx
Hi @clf361
Thank you for your reply. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mum too. I seem to currently be going through all those feelings you’ve mentioned, sometimes seeming to function ok and the next minute being unable to stop the tears.
I’m so sorry your Mum was ill. I remember how devastated I was when my Dad passed away (10 years ago now) He was also ill & deteriorated over several weeks, there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of him, but now it’s with happy memories and never of how it was at the end. I also think in time we will think the same way about our wonderful Mums. You’re right though, for now it just hurts so very much and it doesn’t feel it will get better.
I long to hear her voice but think maybe I’m a bit too numb at the moment. Writing sounds like a very good idea which I think I will try. My Mum suffered for such a long time but never complained. I’m thankful she’s at peace now but selfishly I want her back so much. Love and strength to you too. Am here anytime you need to talk xx
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@clf361 … your idea about writing a diary is a real ‘light bulb’ moment for me. I’m definitely going to take your advice 
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I hope it offers some comfort to you
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