Thankyou for your kind words means alot I hope your evening and weekend is kinder to you take care of yourself as much as possible in my thoughts and prayers stay safe Adele x
Hi
No words to make it better nothing can, I miss my husband so so much I hate everyday without him. He was only 57 Iām younger donāt know how Iām going to get through life without him by my side. It gets harder everyday and more lonely every minute. Watching him suffer and not make it is too hard to believe itās real. Take care I live one day at a time.
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Youāre right. Itās so hard to believe itās real. Phil was only 61 and fit and healthy. Within the space of a couple of weeks he was gone. No chance for an operation or chemotherapy. It was too late they said. Nothing they could do they said. It was like some awful nightmare which still goes on.
I look at his smiling face in photos and stare deep into his eyes wishing that he was looking back at me.
I try to find comfort in his love and try to imagine it wrapping me up and keeping me safe if that makes sense. X
Barry was gone in 8 weeks he had chemo twice but I think it was that what made him so ill. He had a major op for 6 hours and so many procedures. I too look into photo and believe heās looking back at me. Like to think he always around me. Itās so hard not to have him with me after 40 years. Take care of yourself xx
I can feel all your suffering. I thought my Ron passed too young. He was 65.He loved the sun and holidays and I could never have imagined he would die even though he had pancreatic cancer which is a cruel heartless cancer. I watched the weight drop off him bit by it. . I watched him refusing to eat. I watched him struggle to do the things he did every day. He kept saying he would eat when he felt a bit better but when he ate anything he was worse with severe diarrhoea. I wish now that he hadnāt agreed to have the Nano knife operation which was his only chance. It was that what killed him. He just did not have the strength to fight anymore. I have so many regrets but at least I know now that I will ever agree to chemo or life threatening operation just for the sake of an extra month or two. Sorry to rant on. Just had a day when I needed him there and he wasnāt. Just another long and lonely day. Tomorrow might be better.
Jean2, reading your post it resonates with just how I feel, all the lovely little gestures and the physical presence. Really, it seems only people on here who have gone through similar heartbreak can understand. Iām a bit further down the line, just over 3 months, and I do feel I have better days now. Thereās no pattern to it though, sometimes you get fooled into thinking you are starting to be coping better but then the next day you feel
back to square one. But everyone on here is having similar feelings and can understand what you are going through , we all
help each other. There will always be someone here for you, keep posting. Sending love and support x
Angiejo, have just read your post. How awful for you and Ron to have gone through that. Life just seems so unfair. I thought so when my Malcolm died so suddenly just over 3 months ago, the shock was devastating but Iām now almost feeling grateful that it was so sudden and quick. For you to see your Ron suffering like that adds to your burden of grief and must make it so hard for you. I hope that one day you can bypass all that and remember him as he was before, the lovely husband who was part of your life for such a long time. How we stop missing them I donāt know, nobody seems to, our lives without them feel so empty and pointless now. But somehow we manage to keep going. putting one foot in front
of the other and moving forward, albeit at snailās space! Sending love x
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At the moment I can hardly bear to look at photos of what was a happy healthy husband just a few short weeks ago. His smile haunts me and his eyes look into mine. I darenāt look back to what used to be or I will realize just what I have lost. I can still only see him in my mind when he was poorly at the end when I sat holding his hand in hospital as he gradually slipped away. i am in disbelief and shock. Jean.
I can relate to all of your story my husband had pancreatic cancer itās so cruel. I sometimes wish he didnāt have the op or chemo as I feel that was the beginning of the end for him. He did it believing he would get better and we could carry on living our lives and he wanted to see his grandkids grow up. Hated seeing him suffer and decline on a daily basis. Take care
Good morning early risers, just sending love and to let you know youāre not alone.Life feels bleak, I know. Thinking of you x
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