My wife passed suddenly just 3 days ago, she was only 38 years old. We have three young children who have been incredible through this so far and it’s not so hard when I’m with them but when I’m alone it’s so difficult. I’m constantly thinking about what I could have done differently. Becky had been poorly all day, if I’d called 999 earlier they may have been in time to save her. I know that’s the worst thing I can do but it’s hard not to think of the what ifs. And I just feel so lost without her, we spent all our time together and now in the blink of an eye she’s gone, all the plans we had stolen away, all the things she never had a chance to do. Everything reminds me of her, even the recordings on the Sky box, full of the programmes she’d recorded that she’ll never see. My heart aches and there’s a constant knot in my stomach. I miss her so much.
Hi Kafka so sorry you have found yourself on this awful journey of grief. Your wife being so young as well so very sad and unfair. You will be so busy with everything you will have to sort out and those little ones to look after, they are going to be so confused. Your emotions are going to be all over the place , it’s good you have found this site, so much for you to go through but there are many others on here having the same thoughts and feelings who will be able to help. There is no way you could know your wife of only 38 was going to die so suddenly and the time ambulances are taking now to arrive it probably would not have been given that high a priority. You are going to feel guilt it is part of the grief process , I hope you have lots of support from friends and family. Keep posting and reading other posts here , so many others have lost partners and feel your pain . Just don’t rush anything, take your time and don’t expect too much of yourself too soon, grief is a long slow difficult process . Take care.
@Kafka77 hi kafka my heartfelt condolences go out to you and your children. I am so sorry you and your children are going through this heartbreak. Please don’t let the what ifs torture you. Its a part of grieving and what it does to us. You weren’t to know what was going to happen and I’m sure you did all you could and there is no guarantee that the ambulance could have got there on time. You are going to feel lost and your emotions and your children’s emotions are going to be all over the place. I do hope you have help and support around you. You will find support here from people who understand your pain. Take one day at a time and keep talking on here as much as you need to. Take care of you and your little ones. I am so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself
Hi Kafka
I’m so sorry for your loss, and your children, it is a devastating loss for all of you. It is very hard not to live in the ‘what if’ territory but there is no way you would have know what was going to happen, or even if the paramedics came earlier, that it would have helped.
I lost my husband last year, and although he was older at 48, and our children are teenagers, I found it was them that kept me going, the day to day of their routine helped me get up each day. I understand exactly what you mean about the sky box, we are surrounded by our loved ones and it can be both comforting and heartbreaking. Do you have support around you? You need to lean on it as you will all be in shock. Take care, we are all here for you xx
HI
so sorry for your loss at such a young age
we all feel like that what ifs about if you could have something sooner or something different
but when my husband ied in november i asked the doctor that and he told me no nothing would have saved him that `i had done the best i could
take care of yourself and your 3 children i am sure they will keep you busy and give you the strength to get through it one day at a time and together
pat