I recently lost my Nan & I’m absolutely heartbroken and struggling. I now know what a broken heart feels like with heart pain. I’m 32 & honestly, since a young girl it’s always been a fear to loose my Nan. It’s now happened. I don’t know how to cope. Nan was also a mum to me. I lived with her through out my 20’s & growing up, I was always with Nan. It’s always been Nan & always will be.
I’m so hurt I’m scared, lost and so sad. I watched Nan suffer & some images I cannot un see.
November she was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer, 4 weeks later on Christmas Eve 2023, Nan took her last breaths. As much as I am glad I looked after Nan till the very end, I’m absolutely broken! Watching someone so close to you die is truly soul crushing.
Nans my world & this was just unexpected & sudden. I feel the only thing giving me purpose to carry on right now is my little dog, penny pug.
I’m reaching out for advice, help and support. I know I’m not the only one in the world to have grief & be broken hearted but I’m genuinely so broken. It’s hurts so much.
Hi @ChelseaG
Cancer can be brutal, my mom died of brain tumors, & we cared for her at home because it was during COVID. It is truly heartbreaking to watch someone you care about, someone who has cared for you deteriorate, I know what you mean about “things you can’t un-see”, caring for someone in that condition is quite traumatic.
I like the sound of your dog, pugs are so cute, & dogs when your grieving can be a real source of comfort.
Take it one day at a time, & do what works for you, I’ve always found talking on this forum very helpful, there are always people here who understand, I have also started keeping a bereavement Diary, sending hugs of support.
Hello ChelseaG
I am so sorry for the loss of your Nan, it’s very hard as I am also in bad state of grief having lost the only sibling I have 14th Feb 2023 to Lung Cancer, I also cared for Frank at home, and he slipped away before I could say goodbye as I was just out of the room for few mins. I went through the entire illness, funeral etc in a daze. It’s now it’s hitting me since about last April. ChelseaG, always reach out for any support you can, people on this community are very kind. Please look after yourself too. Kind wishes and thoughts to you
Yes please do we are all here for each other . Finding Sueryder for me was like someone throwing a life preserver to a drowning man and i hope i speak for us all . You have friends here. All the very best x
Your Nan sounded a wonderful lady. No words can make you feel better about losing her.
I was devastated when my wife died in January, after me caring for her for almost three years.
She was desperately ill : bedbound, on oxygen and pumped full of drugs. I was there to the end and you are right about seeing things you cant unsee. I felt so sorry that my Susan had to go through all that pain misery.
I was bereft when she passed. I realised two things: Nothing i could have done could have saved her and I was going to remove everything in the house, that reminded me of the pain and misery of her illness years .
Its a great comfort for me to remember her healthy and happy,rather than her on her deathbed.
You had a very special relationship with your nan. The love will stay forever. Cherish her memory and make her even more proud of you.
x