I lost my beautiful mum 10 days ago. She’d been poorly for 2 years but thought she was getting better. I feel so lost without her, she was my best friend. I have a younger brother who hardly bothered with her up until December when his marriage was failing. We’ve never overly got on as adults but I hoped we’d start fresh. After mum had gone he collected all her paperwork and has arranged her funeral with little input from myself. I’m so heartbroken and don’t know why he’d be so cruel.

Hi Rachy,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your mum, and the problems you are having with your brother. Unfortunately it seems quite common for family tensions to come to the surface at the time of a bereavement. We have had a conversation on this site recently where several people shared their experiences of this. You might find it helpful to read and reply to it here: http://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/dad-gone-mum-and-sister-are-distant

Your loss is still very recent and raw. The advice we most commonly see shared on this site is to be kind to yourself, take things day by day, and give yourself time to grieve. I hope that it helps a little bit to be able to share things here and get support from others with similar experiences.

If there is anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this site, just let me know.

Online Community Manager

Hi Rachy, so sorry for your loss and the difficulties with your brother. Have you tried to tell him how you feel about him taking over? I know it’s so hard just to cope with the loss but being involved in the funeral and saying goodbye is also important. Thinking of you

Thank you. He’s got a history of violence and theft. He’s a very volatile person, I’m actually worried about seeing him at the funeral :confused: Thankfully I have some great friends and my mums friends who’ve all rallied around me. Now it’s trying to sort probate and inheritance tax but every where I turn I hit a dead end! Sorry for the rant! X

Thank you. It’s the worst feeling ever :frowning: x