Heartbroken

I’m having really bad night tonight I lost my Tony July 19th and I cry more now than ever, I can’t believe I’m never going to see him again. Tonight the pain is so bad my mind is tortured, I can’t sleep just keep going over and over things in my mine, just imagine him next to me but he’s not. Nights like this are unbearable and my family say all I do is cry but feel like they don’t understand even though they have been amazing with me I feel so alone angry sad

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So sorry for your loss.I am feeling exactly the same-i lost my soulmate 2 days before you lost yours.I feel like its getting harder&harder everyday,i fear the tears will never ever stop flowing.i absolutely dread night time as thats when the grief hits hardest,i sob myself to sleep every night-i miss him being beside me cuddling me like he always did to help me fall asleep.This site is amazing,everyone is so supportive &i take comfort knowing i am not the only one who feels this way-we are all lost souls without our soulmates trying to navigate our way through this horrendous time.Nobody truly understands how hard it is unless they’ve been through it.Reach out when you need to &remember you are not alone.Sending love &hugs from one broken soul to another xx

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I feel for you both. I am waiting for the pain to subside in my hip heel and leg before I try and go back to bed in the hope I can sleep. Otherwise I might try the recliner. Unfortunately it is very difficult to shut down our brains. Xx

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@Jacaton I’m sorry for what you’re going through. This is a long process, they is no quick fix. At the beginning when I was on here, I felt devastated and just kept seeing posts saying that it’s hard, it doesn’t get any easier and I found that hard to listen to.

I’m here to say it does get easier. The missing them is hard but life carries on and you learn to live with what’s gone. You’ll never get over it, you’ll shed many more tears and probably always will but it doesn’t consume your every waking moment.

The pain that runs so deep in you, subsides to a dull ache and sometimes disappears for a while.

If you want to survive this, you have to work at it a little bit, like everything else in life. You will find the strength to do this because the world doesn’t stop, it carries on around us. Friends and family will keep moving as will you but they will be moving a lot quicker than you.

Be kind to yourself, cry, scream, shout, get angry, Jesus, you’ve lost your person, your security, your future, you’re allowed to be really pissed, angry, hurt! All that will fade, in time. I’m 7 months in and I’m still working through it all but I’m in a good place, I have a life that I live, different but it looks like its going to be ok. My other half wants this for me, his family and friends, he wants us to enjoy life like he did. How do I know? Because I knew him and he loved me and always wanted the best for me.

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Well said @Jacaton . My husband, the love of my life died 9 weeks ago so it’s still early days for me. I consider myself to be in a sink or swim situation and I choose to swim. At the moment I can only tread water and it’s really, really hard but my husband would want me to be as happy as I can be under the circumstances and would not want me to spend what time I have left counting the days until I can be with him again .

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Thank you so much it helps to write it down on here but yes this is exactly how how feel I hope one day the tears will be replaced with smiles but it’s just so painful :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:sending love to you

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Thank you so much , I’m just petrified this sadness won’t ever go away but you have given me hope so thank you from the bottom of my heart

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It is good to hear from someone who is further along and I admire the positivity in your post. I lost my husband suddenly about 12 weeks ago. I have family and friends but no-one I feel that I can really talk to without feeling I am putting a burden on them. I just wondered if you ever thought of trying to get counselling as a way of coping or whether this is something you don’t feel you need.

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@Fiasco I paid for counseling 1 week after he died. I think it has helped me to get everything out at the beginning. They was a lot I wanted to talk about but needed someone other than family to be my sounding board.

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Thank you very much for your reply. I think what you write makes total sense and that for many it is good to off load to someone outside the family. Is it ok to ask you, how you found a counsellor?

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I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 17 weeks ago and the nights and weekends are the worst. I try to keep busy but it’s the quiet times in the house is when J miss him the most.
I’ve started writing a journal each night which is helping a little bit as I write it as if I am talking to him. May sound crazy but it makes me feel connected to him a little bit.
I don’t think any of us would wish this feeling of loss on anyone so just take one day at a time and if you need to cry then that’s ok too.
Take care xx

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Good to hear from you Rachel and the journal idea is a good one. There doesn’t seem any way of taking short cuts through bereavement. It is very painful but it is good to hear from others who are going through the same thing x

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Sorry didn’t see this. @Fiasco I sought out a councellor that I used years before for anxiety. I asked her for recommendation really but she said she could help and she certainly did.

Originally, I went by weird of mouth. A couple of people I knew had been to get and said she was good.

You could search online for councellor near you and read the reviews and see what people say.

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Thanks Ali29
I know I need something, so will follow this up.
Hope all goes as well as possible for you.

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Thank you x

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Check out the BACP website,this is a website that provides all the information for counsellors who are accredited,it’s absolutely crucial that whoever you choose they should be registered. My wife was an accredited psychotherapist so I have some idea of just how important it is that you have trust and confidence in who you choose.

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Thanks Mike.

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i had a really bad night last night,woke up crying and have been sobbing all day,just can’t stop,husband died 21 july my worse day so far,there seems no end to this

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I’m the same today so feel your pain… I thought i’d been doing ok but today the tears have flowed so just going with it as it’s only 4 months and I’m
missing my husband more than ever today.

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yes i feel the same,lonely days and nights,getting worse ,why must we suffer so much

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