@Jacaton I’m sorry for what you’re going through. This is a long process, they is no quick fix. At the beginning when I was on here, I felt devastated and just kept seeing posts saying that it’s hard, it doesn’t get any easier and I found that hard to listen to.
I’m here to say it does get easier. The missing them is hard but life carries on and you learn to live with what’s gone. You’ll never get over it, you’ll shed many more tears and probably always will but it doesn’t consume your every waking moment.
The pain that runs so deep in you, subsides to a dull ache and sometimes disappears for a while.
If you want to survive this, you have to work at it a little bit, like everything else in life. You will find the strength to do this because the world doesn’t stop, it carries on around us. Friends and family will keep moving as will you but they will be moving a lot quicker than you.
Be kind to yourself, cry, scream, shout, get angry, Jesus, you’ve lost your person, your security, your future, you’re allowed to be really pissed, angry, hurt! All that will fade, in time. I’m 7 months in and I’m still working through it all but I’m in a good place, I have a life that I live, different but it looks like its going to be ok. My other half wants this for me, his family and friends, he wants us to enjoy life like he did. How do I know? Because I knew him and he loved me and always wanted the best for me.