Just so so hard, and to be honest why, 57 and possibly 20 years of this ahead. Don’t see why I should put myself through it.
Stevie wee, I feel the same but I have to do it for my mum and sis ( lost my dad suddenly as well in April 2017) and our dog who adored my husband, we didn’t have any children which made me sad but i have to be here for my family xxx
I know but it’s so unfair. My kids want me to be OK but they have there own families, so I have to live this miserable life so they can visit me and think everything’s ok but it’s not. What to do xx
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My kids want me to be ok too, they are great kids but as you say they have their own lives. I only know I have to carry on with my life out of respect and love for Tim.
If you want to chat I will be here anytime
Take care xx
It’s the helplessness of the whole situation, I look for signs that shows she is with me. I need to know she is ok if you know what I mean xx
Hi my lovely people, everything said on here today is so me. I woke up this morning in a complete melt down. I really wanted to just take a load of pills, go to sleep, and not wake up. However, I have grown up children to consider, and also people like my sister who love and need me. In the end I took a sleeping tablet (the first one since George left) and it did help me to calm down. I have always suffered with anxiety and depression, and George was amazing at pushing me and stretching me to do things I could never imagine being able to do such as flying. I had never flown before being with George, and on our last holiday I travelled on my own to meet up with him in Madrid. To others that may not be a big thing, but to me it was a huge achievement. I don’t want to fall into a downwards spiral because I have not been really poorly since prior to starting my relationship with George. I am just so scared and feel overwhelmed with emotion, tiredness, lack of appetite and a future looming in front of me that I just don’t want. I know everyone says time is a healer, and may be that is true, but it does not help me not having my George to snuggle up to in bed. I used to say that night time was my favourite time of the day, we used to just snuggle and read, and chat about our day and he used to make me laugh so much. How can I live without that? I feel that people are already getting impatient with me, simply because they cannot understand what I am going through. And it also feels cruel that life goes on around me and my George is not here to enjoy it with me. He was a huge fan of the Archers and we listened to it almost every evening just after our dinner. That will never happen again, how do I come to terms with that?
It is so good to be able to write down exactly what I feel and you to understand xx
I used to say that to Denise bedtime was the best part of the day xxx
Me too, sometimes it would be 4am before we went to sleep xxx
Yes we always treasured that time. Close the bedroom door and shut the rest of the world out and just have some ‘us’ time. Sadly, when we got back from holiday in September George struggled to sleep in our bed and was in the recliner chair in the living room as he found that more comfortable. Even though at first we thought it was simple backache, I ended up sleeping on the sofa, and that is how it was for the final 11 weeks of his life. However, we still had our nightly chats, it was just so hard not to be able to snuggle up and it hurt him so much if I tried to give him a cuddle. I am such a tactile person and I think I drove him made always touching or stroking him, I find it so hard xx
I too look for signs although I’m not sure what I’m looking for. I want to know he is close to me.
I’ve had a few things that happened. could have been coincidence but I don’t think so. One a week but when nothing happens I get really upset xx
At the weekend I was walking our little dog Poppy and was talking to George asking him to send me a sign that he was still with me. After a while I came along an elderly lady looking up a tree. She smiled and said she was looking at a wren and pointed at the tree. As I looked up there actually carved into the tree was the words Think Positively, I took that as a complete sign, although I am struggling to do it xx
It’s a sign, not the fact that it was in the tree but it was pointed out to you. I was the biggest sceptic but now I really think our loved ones watch over us xxx
My grandmother died when I was young and I always believed that I had to do my best to please her and that she was my guardian angel. I’m not sure where that came from. It certainly acted as a motivating factor.
I’ve wondered whether it would have a similar effect if I suggested to my grandkids that their grandmother is their guardian angel. Maybe kids aren’t as susceptible to such ideas today.
I thing I got a sign a few days after my husband had died, he loved birds of prey and use to care for them, then this sparrow hawk appeared out side my window, only for a minute or two then flew away. I live in a place where they not usual seen, I got some comfort from that xx
Just small things but they mean so much xx